Sunday, January 31, 2010

Local Feud

North Carolina wrestlers Lee Valiant and Joey Silvia take care of business, in this match (above) from October 17, 2009.  These local boys, once friends and partners, have been engaged in a bitter and brutal feud for the past year.  It's been give and take with the CWF Mid Atlantic television title, with these two dudes going at it like they're ready to drag each other to hell if they have to.



A couple of weeks ago Valiant relinquished the title, reportedly due to head injuries sustained in a fight with Silvia at the beginning of the year, and a new champion will be crowned next Saturday.

He's 30 Today, Which Means Now I Am Going to Find Him Totally Irresistible


In the all-too-short list of adult film stars, gay or straight, though in this case we're apparently talking straight, whom I'd like to wrestle or, at least, watch wrestle, not counting the ones I  have done already, of course, Johnny Castle occupies the number one spot.

Happy birthday, Johnny!  God, how I'd love to bust you up!

(PS By way of explanation, since age 14 I have had a thing for men in their thirties.  Weird, huh?)

Kid Leopard

BG East's Kid Leopard does here what he does best--he shows the rookie how it's done ... and, even without sound, the savagery and skill of the attack are breathtaking.  This is what I'm always talking about, guys.  This is wrestling raised to the level of retribution.  Rocky Rojo (rhyming with "uh-oh") clearly decided to take a swing at the wrong guy on this particular day.  Wow.  Yum.  Yippee.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Gay for Pain

I'm not sure how I feel about Victorious Secret, the Vanguard Wrestling All-Star Alliance "gay" tag team of Cameron Salem, 5'8", 160#, and Mason Conrad, 5'11", 195#.  The boys actually have their fans in the independent pro wrestling world, where their limp-wristed posing, cry-baby petulance, and suggestively homoerotic antics (their finishing move is called Sodimy and Gamoura) generate a lot of positive pop with some crowds and negative heat with others. 

They are apparently not the usual faux-mo jobbers, mere fancy-boys for the rugged "straight" faces to beat up on; they are skilled wrestlers and they are, in fact, "victorious" a lot of the time--though more through sneakiness and illegal double-teaming than through legitimate means.  Killer queens, indeed!

VS versus Jeff Troy and Ovirload, Orland Park, Illinois, 17 April 2009 (via VWAA)

Unlike most of their predecessors in this gimmick, Salem and Conrad are personally attractive, especially (I think) Salem, and while their behavior is flamboyant and provocative--which they amp up all the more when the crowd hates them--they are fit, agile, and rather easy on the eye.


Watching them, I am reminded of what director John Waters said of golden-era wrestler Gorgeous George, who, he says, inspired every character he ever wrote: 
It was probably the very first thing I ever saw that I thought is this, maybe it was gay, even though he wasn't gay, right?  And I didn't know what gay meant yet.  I just knew it was that this was something very, very different and something that could very much interest me.  He became a kind of secret fascination.

 Times are different now, of course ... not different enough, perhaps, for pro wrestling crowds to accept an openly gay wrestler as anything but a heel.  A part of me always feels this gimmick serves as a coverup for charges that pro wrestling is homoerotic in general--as if to serve as a lightning rod that assures homophobes that the rest of the wrestlers and the rest of the matches are 100% hetero.

But, like Waters, I am fascinated.  And a little turned on.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Put Together

Mike Tolbert was a jobber at WCW in the 1990s.  No charisma and not a whole lot of fight, but gorgeous, taken in the context of the thick, plastic wrestlers of that era.

He should have put more time in studying the art and science of the sport than in pumping iron (and, quite possibly, taking in steroids), but his more than passing resemblance to the stars of Italian Hercules movies of 30 or 40 years earlier earns him a warm spot in these pages.

Tolbert was born too late for hurling hydrofoam boulders and Roman columns at other bearded studs or grimacing in chains in some cavernous lair while some mincing dark lord with plucked eyebrows fingers his massive pecs and momentarily gloats over mastering such glistening muscle.

He is one of those wrestlers whose visual appeal varies from match to match.  He looks his best in the fight against Enos below and his worst in some of the other videos available on YouTube that I've left off this post.

The body is too bulbous and balloon-like for it to excite much lust in me, but his face at certain angles reminds me of the tough, ready-for-anything GIs I, as a child, yearned for on military bases throughout the 1960s (when my father was still in the Air Force).

As I said, he would be much more attractive to me had he aimed more for agility, speed, and sinewy sensuality than for mere blunt bulk.

versus Barry Darsow

versus Doc Dean

versus Mike Enos (all videos via wrestlaz)

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Golden Lynx


Puerto Rico's Lince Dorado, 5'7", 170#, wrestles with Chikara and F1RST Wrestling.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

A Party in Boystown Tonight

A big thank-you to Comptroller for turning me on to these two related matches, where the crowd seems to be more ready to dig the teasing faux-homoeroticism of Victorious Secret (Cameron Salem and Mason Conrad) and Amenaza than the color commentator is. 

After the last minutes of the setup match (Mason Conrad and Zach Thomson versus Ryan Slade and A.J. Smooth, 20 September 2009), we see Cameron Salem, Mason Conrad, and Amenaza versus Zach Thomson, Ryan Slade, and A.J. Smooth, in a six-man tagteam match, Galli Lucha Libre, a few weeks later (via NichoalsH)

More shots of Victorious Secret's Conrad and Salem:


Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Screamin Like a Woman Down There

Back in November, I shared some stills of this November 28 fight (Fang versus Sucio) with you guys.  Now here are the moving pictures (via Classics9271985).  Pretty damn good fight for these two young studs.  And they're set to slug it out again next week on Ohio Valley Wrestling, which looks like it may be stockpiling young tough dudes like these.

This is why we have the word "archenemies," people!

Confessions of a Cowardly Heel

My dream job is to be a cowardly heel in pro wrestling.

The kind of fighter who protects his hold on a title through a string of technicalities.

The kind of fighter who slips through the ropes and runs for the showers every time the handsome face mans up and gains the upper hand in a match.

The kind of fighter who refuses to tag in when his partner is getting the shit kicked out of him by a particularly formidable opponent.

The kind who relies on his valet or a crooked ref to stack the deck in his favor.

The kind who gets himself deliberately disqualified to save his ass (or his hold on a title ... or both).

The kind who accuses his opponent of hair-pulling when he is in fact bald as an egg ... and the one guilty of pulling hair.

The kind who turns most vicious when his opponent is incapacitated, presuming to kick a man while he is down or turning his nose up at a fair and equitable mano-a-mano brawl.

Hating cowardice in real life, I am at a loss what the fascination is with kayfabe gutlessness.  I suspect it's because the comeuppance is always delicious.  It may be my favorite bit of ring melodrama--it certainly ranks up there among my top three or four scenarios.  I like nothing more than to see a strapping hunk corner a yellow-belly, one who's dodged his just deserts time and time again, but whose luck has finally run out.

It's always exhilarating for me when a no-nonsense fighter catches a cowardly heel in the act of flying the coop, and, grabbing him by his tighty-whities, tosses him back into the squared circle to face what's coming to him.

One of the great cowardly heels of wrestling history is WWE's Randy Orton (pictured above), whose claim to fame, besides real-life charges of steroid abuse and sexual harassment, is a series of deliberate disqualifications to save his butt from righteously indignant dudes like John Cena, Jeff Hardy, Chris Jericho, and Shawn Michaels.  The latest issue of Pro-Wrestling Illustrated (March 2010 edition) names Orton the "most hated" wrestler of last year, noting that "he thinks nothing of attacking women and surrounds himself with thugs to save him whenever he gets in trouble."  It is then remarkable that the same magazine also dubs Orton the "wrestler of the year," beating out contenders like Cena, Jericho, and Kurt Angle.  Such an honor suggests that his cowardice strikes a particular chord with pro-wrestling fans.

An argument could be made that all heels in wrestling are cowardly.  In a performance sport (or sport performance) that centers on masculine valor for its drama--the more daring and reckless, the better--of course the lily-livered coward will automatically be the most loathsome wrestler of them all.

(A case could be made that sadism, instead, is the fundamental trait of the heel, but since pain and suffering are the essence of pro-wrestling theatrics, on both sides of the good/bad divide, it is hard to distinguish between heel and hero just on the point of which is the more sadistic.  Both "good" and "evil" wrestlers like to deliver pain.  I say the wrestler who inflicts pain without prowess or mettle--or hurts others excessively or when they are defenseless--most draws the ire of the crowd.  And the wrestler who makes the coward suffer--and pay hard for his sins--draws the crowd's cheers.  I've seen a few--but only a few--courageous heels in my day, but never a cowardly babyface.)

When, in a classic IWA-Mid South steel-cage I-quit match in 2008, Jason Hades made the dirty-dealing turncoat Jayson Quick all but wet his pants, nobody but nobody felt sorry for Quick.  And every time bully-beater Axel (UCW-Wrestling) reduces some underhanded shortcut-taker to tears, he notches up another 10-20 lifelong fans.

So what is it that makes a career as a cowardly heel so appealing to me?  Maybe I'm just a masochist who craves a good beating.  Maybe I have hidden depths of guilty feeling that I feel the need to expiate by drawing heat from an angry crowd.  Or maybe I just want to partake in all the outrageous and devious fun that heels have in taking unfair advantage, staging sneak attacks, and humiliating popular faces and innocent jobbers, but still have the moral sense to accept that somewhere, sometime down the line, I will be forced to face the golden-haired hero whose destiny it is to take me down.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Look Out Below!

Spike Huber versus Eric Embry, ca. April 1983 (via 1000holds)

Taven v Sople

Matt Taven works over Todd Sople, No Limit Pro Wrestling, 23 January 2010, Peabody, Massachusetts


Taven looks good.  He's got the jungle-boy hair, the strong thick body, the pop of the crowd behind him.

He likes putting the hurt on the bad guys, and if sometimes he enjoys hurting people just a bit too much, all's forgiven because these guys have every bit of it coming to them ... and then some.

I wish he'd show off his legs a bit more, too, but I can't fault his body one bit--no, he's not model perfect, but he's got just the right sort of torso for bouncing and trouncing.

He can come over to my house any day of the week and body slam me and work my arm till I'm begging for mercy.

Frankly, I'd consider it an honor and a privilege to slug it out with this guy one day.


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