Sunday, January 10, 2010

Bubblegum Pop

Kyle Sebastian is a sugar-coated twink with a bully filling.  The 20-year-old wrestler fights with Power Zone Wrestling in Alberta, starting out as a high-flying teen wonder three years ago, dubbed the "Missionary" as a nod to his roots in Provo, Utah, and quickly establishing himself as the Donny Osmond of wrestling.

If wrestling had the equivalent of a Tiger Beat magazine, he surely would have graced its cover more than once.  He and fellow young studs (like Deryck Crosse, Zack Sabre Jr, Ashton Vuitton, and Stoney Hooker) are the new wave in indy pro wrestling, winning the hearts and slavish adoration of teenage girls (and middle-aged guys like me).

The phenomenon may not be an altogether good thing for the sport, potentially having roughly the same soporific effect as bubblegum rock and boy bands had on the recording industry.  Still if anyone would like to start 'N Sync-style cartels, five smooth-skinned teens slamming other smooth-skinned teens to the mat, you will not hear too strong of an objection from me about it, provided the slamming is hard and I get to see perfect, dental-bleached teeth gritted in torment.

Lately the too-pretty-for-you Sebastian has restyled himself as a heel and befouled his squeaky-clean rep by picking on dudes half his size (and coming out the worse for it).

Here, in a match back in the heartthrob days of October 2008, Wavell Starr and posse make Kyle their bitch.  With apologies to the Ohio Express, "Yummy, yummy, yummy, I got whomp in my tummy ... "(Via wavellstarr)

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