Friday, January 29, 2010

Put Together

Mike Tolbert was a jobber at WCW in the 1990s.  No charisma and not a whole lot of fight, but gorgeous, taken in the context of the thick, plastic wrestlers of that era.

He should have put more time in studying the art and science of the sport than in pumping iron (and, quite possibly, taking in steroids), but his more than passing resemblance to the stars of Italian Hercules movies of 30 or 40 years earlier earns him a warm spot in these pages.

Tolbert was born too late for hurling hydrofoam boulders and Roman columns at other bearded studs or grimacing in chains in some cavernous lair while some mincing dark lord with plucked eyebrows fingers his massive pecs and momentarily gloats over mastering such glistening muscle.

He is one of those wrestlers whose visual appeal varies from match to match.  He looks his best in the fight against Enos below and his worst in some of the other videos available on YouTube that I've left off this post.

The body is too bulbous and balloon-like for it to excite much lust in me, but his face at certain angles reminds me of the tough, ready-for-anything GIs I, as a child, yearned for on military bases throughout the 1960s (when my father was still in the Air Force).

As I said, he would be much more attractive to me had he aimed more for agility, speed, and sinewy sensuality than for mere blunt bulk.

versus Barry Darsow


versus Doc Dean



versus Mike Enos (all videos via wrestlaz)



2 comments:

  1. White-bread beefer musclestuds like Tolbert turn me on precisely because they are NOT stunning works of art, but rather because they fit into my fantasies about regular guys, like truck drivers, farmers, gym teachers, etc., being part-time wrestlers on the weekend, and inviting me to step into the ring to give it a try.

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  2. Exactly. I taped some of his WCW matches back in the 90s for that reason. He was hot, but also seemed so accessible. A little too bulked up for my taste, maybe, but otherwise perfect.

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