Friday, April 23, 2010

Letter to Joker


The following is a response to a letter I got this morning from UCW's Joker.  I won't share his letter with you because I have not asked his permission to do so, but you can maybe catch the gist of it from my response.  As you know, I'm a huge fan of UCW-Wrestling, and Joker is one of the four or five fighters there who are worth their weight in gold.  I kid you not.

Hello, Mr Jokeington, I'm very very happy to hear from you.  The 2010 UCW fights are stomping serious butt, my friend.  Keep up the great work.  Every time I think you guys have hit your ceiling, you come up with something just a little bit better.  Right now I think my favorite is you and Kid punishing Crazy Kev--so funny it hurts--who knew there were so many ways to hammer a man's balls?  Well, I guess you knew.  But who else?

Glad you know how to take a compliment too.  Yeah, I hate you, you bet I do.  I hate you so much it hurts, my friend.  I love your battles against the squeaky clean guys like Axel and Klown, love the way you mess with their heads by snatching them up by their short hairs, love the way you bring up the dirty fighter buried deep inside them, and, ultimately, and I am sorry to say it to your face, JJ, but I love the way they then wipe the mat up with your sorry ass in the end.

Nothing I like better than seeing you get your candy ass handed to you after you've pushed assholery to its absolute limit and beyond.  After you have prodded one of those guys to his breaking point and have worked my last nerve, and I have laughed myself sore over your imbecilic hijinks, just the sound of you screaming and blubbering like a little bitch puts a smile on my face.  I love to hate you, man.  You are my go-to man for hate.

Nobody does it better.  Nobody.  My hat is off to you.  Keep up the good work.  You've made an art form of being annoying--and I look forward to your getting your tail busted again and again and again.

Seriously, I've got to respect anyone who does what you do.

You are the man.

Joe

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