Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Dazed

 As far as I can tell, the team of Big John Andersen and Daz made just one appearance in the BG East ring--and that was a good six years ago.  I'm not sure what didn't click between them and bossman Kid Leopard, but on the strength of just the one match, they have become something of an obsession of mine.

In Tag Team Torture 6, one of the classics of tag-team videos (you must own it, and not just because of this match), Daz and Big John faced the preening pretty-boy team of Joshua Goodman (a personal favorite) and super-stacked Kieran Dunne.  Tricky Goodman and callow Dunne are ill matched as partners, a point that is obvious from the beginning.


But when BJA and Daz strut in, it's clear that they are a match made in heaven--or maybe not in heaven, but in Slick It Up's fevered dreamworld.  These guys could finish one another's sentences--and the poor jobber who gets trapped between them is going to feel like he's caught in the gears of an ecstasy-inducing annihilation machine.

Anderson is a tall, dark, and buzzcut bully--the kind I fantasize about as often as I can--who can't keep the smile off his face as he watches Goodman badmouth and berate his own partner.  There's no question in his mind that he can take both pretty boys together--easy pickings--even by himself, without the assistance of his boy Daz.

And Daz (let me catch my breath) is the most exciting s-and-m fantasy Ganymede since The Road Warrior:  tatted, pierced, aggro-extreme, built like a brick outhouse, and licking his chops to put the hurt on anybody at hand.  There's no smiling with Daz, not once he's in the ring, not until he hears an opponent squeal out in pain.


I used not to care much for tag-team matches.  I think it was because, back in the day when televised wrestling was the mainstay of my erotic imagination, they usually decreased the time I could spend ogling whichever wrestler I thought was the hottest in the ring.  Or maybe it's just my longstanding reaction against monogamy--the whole mushy "couples" thing.  Something the Bard said six months ago in neverland changed my tune:
I think all tag team matches should include the overt storyline of teams of lovers fighting one another.  After BBW made Shane [his] boy in Dark Knights 5, they show up clearly having sorted out their daddy/cub relationship.  Liam and Brian similarly let us know that they had each other's backs well before arriving in the ring.
The idea of warrior couples, a new Sacred Band of Thebes storming the squared circle, is a version of monogamy I can get behind.  Keep your fondant-covered four-layer cake and something borrowed--give me instead your best man in spandex and somebody for us to beat black and blue.

So it looks like I may never see Big John and Daz on my dvd player again, not in something new anyways, but, guys, if you're out there somewhere, still together, and by some odd coincidence visiting this blog, give me a ring anytime day or night you feel like you might wanna be starting something.  Seriously.  Let's do some damage, bros.

1 comment:

  1. BJA looks steaming! Too many guys are one shot wonders. It almost makes you want to cry for the lost opportunities.

    The thing about tag matches is that with four guys the odds that all of them are worth watching is pretty low. And the ones you want to see mix it up may or may not have much time in the ring together, then just when you get all heated up, someone tags out and it's gone for who knows how long. And you can't even count on seeing the best parts. The cameraman may be directed to waste time on the partners outside the ring for some tomfoolery.

    A good tag match is a thing to be prized, but it's the rare exception. Generally the rule is frustration.

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...