First of all, any wrestler who can pull off wearing a G-string (and a pink G-string) in a pro arena has my deepest, heartfelt respect. The number of wrestlers who have done so must be countable on the fingers of one hand, not including the thumb. Had he done nothing else--quite apart from the fact that he wore it so well--Ryan Slade, 26, 6'1", 170#, would be a kink hero.
Add to that the absurdly harmonious blending of rockabilly sideburns, pirate earrings, feather boa, sequins, six-pack abs, ego by the acre, a pit bull's tenacity, a knows-no-fear sense of humor, and the most feral face this side of Seann William Scott. And, oh yes, a chin you could slice pepperoni with. The guy's a dreamboat, and he has sass. He moves well inside the ropes, and he talks big shit in the locker room.
Throw those stats into an electronic dating database, and my profile pops up as a potential match for a Friday night.