Tuesday, June 22, 2010


Zack Johnathan, aka Z-Man, 5'10", 175#, is something of an anomaly in the world of kink wrestling.  He does not, for instance, touch on any of the darker colors of erotic combat, such as sadism or the urge to subjugate and dominate.  Even his arrogance comes across as genial, not nasty.  In demeanor, then, he does not fit neatly into existing categories of heel and babyface, but comes off, even in the midst of a brawl, kind of like a zesty aerobics instructor.

Still, he could be a ZAI-ILF.

Physically he reminds me of two guys I knew in my twenties, both of them into recreational wrestling, coincidentally.  One was a northern Italian jock, 6'2", with the most perfect physique I ever had the privilege to tangle and sleep with.  The other was a guy, Hollywood beautiful, at a Christian college I attended for 15 months, who once, outside in the cool night air (ah, I remember it well), after I told him how "perfect and untouchable" I thought he looked, said, in a matter-of-fact tone, "I can tell you want to fight me, Joe.  Okay, take a swing at me."  What followed was less a fight than slow-motion choreography.  And it was memorable and fun, even though it was a one shot deal and even though nothing much happened.

Like these two guys, Zack has the porcelain complexion and mannequin poise of an overindulged rich kid--the first in high school to get a car (and a brand new one), the guy who was class president and homecoming king.  The guy you probably wanted to date, but couldn't ... more to the point, the guy you probably wanted to hate, but couldn't.

That's probably Zack's only flaw--you want to hate the guy, but you can't do it.  He doesn't touch that raw nerve the way other sexy jobbers sometimes do, yet he doesn't exactly seem like the kind of guy you can identify with or imagine being either--he's too far removed from guys like me with pores and body fat.

And in a fight, even apparently in this one against tattooed and sexy-as-hell newcomer PitBull, 5'5", 172#, at Thunder's Arena, he seems to float above the fray, almost as if his perfect body had been superimposed, sweatless, hair unmussed, into it via Photoshop.

Johnathan is dewy, dreamy perfection.  Stretched out here, he looks like a rich and whipped-up dessert.  He's the reason we have the phrase "eye candy." 


  1. Your take on Zack and, by extension, all "jobbers," is an interesting one. That he has an air of the "entitled rich kid" with the looks that seem effortless (though, of course, it's really the product of a lot of hard ass work that a lot of wannabe indy wrestlers never come close to approaching) that you want to enjoy watching getting his butt kicked yet doesn't quite have the accessibility aspect due to his looks is a rare level of insight.

    I'd like to add, based on my observations, there's another perspective. I think the ultimate jobbers are guys who are physically titilating based on their looks (meaning generally in shape, handsome, maybe even pretty, or, for a lot of guys, very young--but legal!--looking, but who also have an air of innocence. It's not that they're necessarily "nice" in the way they act; they can be cocky in spades. Rather, it's the mayhem, the one-sided assaults, the whole bad guy is taking it too far presentation that often makes the guy accessible.

    Someone like Zack may look distant and untouchable, and, as a result, that may provoke judgment from the viewer. But the moment he's placed in a situation where the context is he can't possibly win, may not even "survive" the match he's in, the whole "I resent Zack because he's pretty" thing changes. In sum, people will buy a match featuring a guy who looks good. And some people will also buy a match with that guy because they want to see him suffer according to their own level of resentment toward him. But the biggest, best, most mentioned and remembered jobbers are always the ones who combine attractiveness with action that makes you "feel" for them, even if you keep in mind the controlled, created fantasy that is pro wrestling.

    I think that's what separates someone like Brad Rochelle from other guys who portrayed that role.

  2. I think Z is great as a muscle jobber! You're exactly right, he walks in this thick air of self-indulgence and arrogance, and you know he's much more talk than fight. Yet, I love it when opponents shut this prettyboy up.



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