Thursday, July 22, 2010

A.J. Styles


File this one under "love/hate."  TNA's A.J. Styles, 32, 5'11", 215#, just named the #1 professional wrestler by Pro Wrestling Illustrated in its PWI 500 list, is somebody I both can't take my eyes off and can't stand the sight of.

Never a particular fan of the "toddlers-on-steroids" look so popular among fans, especially fans in the South, who like 'em sun-burnt pink to boot, I will admit that Styles carries it off with more dash and machismo than most of his peers.

Even before he started spouting off about God and family, I sensed the sanctimony oozing from his pores, crowding out the Johnson's baby oil gel, and it turned me off.  I also pegged him for a homophobe from the git-go--and maybe that's unfair of me, as it's based solely on a hunch:  the man is way too spruced up to bandy the word "faggot" around the way he does.

On the other hand, he makes my dick hard.


I can't pick which I like best--his depilated twenties or his craggy, hairy thirties--I like them both.  There's something just a bit unreal (even surreal) about A.J., almost as if he was concocted by a team of cartoonists and cosmetic surgeons.  But clearly these mad imagineers had "sexy" in mind as they put him together.

Styles' flair for the open-shirted entrance was something he brought with him to the game, and if it was not expressly designed to make gay hearts beat a little faster, it did the trick anyway.

He is also one of the few wrestlers of his generation to favor lots of skin-on-skin collision during a match.  While his peers high-fly off the top ropes and cut themselves with razors, in continuous loops of body contact avoidance, Styles will occasionally chase a dropkick or suplex by settling into his opponent in an array of sumptuously slow leglocks, STFs, backbreakers, and Boston crabs, sometimes punctuated with a sharp and resonant punch to the guy's gut.

If Styles wants to hate homo-sex for Christ, that's his business.  If he wants to use the word "faggot" as a tool to demean opponents and irate fans, he is certainly not the first (or last) pro wrestler or athlete to do so.  But the teasing and mixed signals drive me crazy, so as a rule I take my blue balls elsewhere.

Still, congratulations on the PWI honor, hot stuff.


4 comments:

  1. Omigawd, Joe's back! I dropped in by chance hoping you'd be back before the announced late July return, and wow, so many blogging entries!

    Styles' intimated homophobia is a fact. A gay fan on youtube outed him as such in a radio call-in show some time back. A.J. actually groaned when the self-described gay fan asked him how he would account for his large gay following. Instead of doing a gracious Schwartzenegger acknowledgement, the radio host cut off the fan and said his audience certainly didn't want to hear that sort of comment. A.J. agreed. Another youtuber commented rather accurately, I thought, that it looks like Styles is cut from the same kind of white trash homophobia as his first mentor Shawn Michaels.

    MAwrestler

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  2. Welcome back Joe! We missed you. Life is better again.

    And thanks, MAwrestler, for the additional insight into A.J. He might be hot but I got no time for hate.

    As an antidote, I just spotted this guy in turquoise tights from the OCW promotion's flickr site out of Ohio, which uploads a new batch of photos monthly or so. Check out his boots closely - he sports a pink ribbon in solidarity with breast cancer awareness. (It's visible in the shot of him flat on his back.) Now there's a guy I can respect:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/ohiochampionshipwrestling/sets/72157624446314633/?page=2

    Don't know his name but his statement makes him a ready-made hottie in my book.

    David

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  3. Thank you MAwrestler and David. You are right. We do not need the hate, but sometimes my cock has no politics whatsoever--damn thing! David, the guy in turquoise is Joey Vengeance, up against the Genuine Jock Samson. Good one!

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  4. It's helped for me that AJ looks a little less gay now in his full length tights and unshaved chest for me to avoid him, though a friend recently pointed me to a match with Bubba Ray where AJ got his beautiful body slapped silly like the white trash redneck he is. The hateful man has heart in his matches, and it never fails for me to go back to his package-hugging shiny trunks days, especially vs. Samoa Joe to see him get completely dominated and worked over out-of-breath. He sells the pain so well I can feel him knocked breathless next to me ready to take advantage of his helplessness. I wish I could be stronger to resist

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