Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Doctor Kliever

Sunday's steel cage main event apparently saw the heavyweight championship change hands at the WC-WC (West Coast Wrestling Connection), from heartthrob Ryan Taylor to Doctor Kliever, who I'd never heard of before but, boys, I have heard of him now!  Damn.  Can't remember when mere still pictures got me so ... well ... riled up.  Look, Doc, how long I have got!  Photos: Jarrod Miller.

The Shaft

Bobby Ocean, 5'8", 170#,  is 25 today.

Boys May Benefit from Aggressive Play

New photos of BG East's Glenn Scott, 42, 6'0", 173#,  on Facebook are steaming up laptops everywhere (get it?  lap tops? heh-heh huh-huh) ever since Glenn posted the shots on Saturday.  So many comments express the desire (no, need) to own a piece of this guy that the commenters are beginning to call out each other.  And the pictures aren't even nude.

I'm thinking BG East needs to get Glenn back on the mats and up against the likes of Damon Clark, 6'1", 185#, or Jarret Cole, 5'11", 180#, for some "big boy action," and if it all leads to somebody getting his nasty pig ass fucked in the process, I wouldn't say a word in protest, so long as everybody knows just what's up for grabs.

And, in related news, a new report from the good people at MSNBC tells us what we all already know.

Monday, August 30, 2010


All I know about The Jersey Kid is he's a greasy longhair with an attitude that can melt chrome.  He seems to live on the border of hero and heel, a very nice neighborhood if you're a hot young stud with smoldering good looks.  He's 20 and 5'11", with thighs like Christmas hams.  He wrestles with a number of small organizations on the East Coast, including Eastern All-Star Wrestling in my adoptive home state of North Carolina, where he beat Frank Savage to win the heavyweight championship just this past March.  I predict big things for The Jersey Kid.  Big things.


Action movies can inspire your next cocktail-hour repartee and maybe get you a little action out back after the party splits up.   Here are some icebreakers that seem to have worked for Arnold, Brad, Bruce, Mel, and Dolph.  Maybe they'll work for you, too.
  1. Let the girl go.  This is between you and me.  Don't deprive yourself of some pleasure.
  2. Hey, bub, I'm not finished with you yet.
  3. I'll fight you for it. You and me.
  4. I'm gonna take this right foot, and I'm gonna whop you on that side of your face ... and you wanna know something? There's not a damn thing you're gonna be able to do about it.
  5. You touch me again, I'll kill you.
  6. You have offended my family, and you have offended the Shaolin temple.
  7. If you gonna be the best, you have to take out the best.
  8. Your move, creep.
  9. I must break you.
  10. How about it, Jack? Would you like a shot at the title?
1. Commando, 2. X-Men, 3. Snatch, 4. Billy Jack, 5. The Last Boy Scout, 6. Enter the Dragon, 7. Never Back Down, 8. Robocop, 9. Rocky IV, 10. Lethal Weapon

    Friday, August 27, 2010

    Patrick Donovan

    Thanks to BG East's Gazebo Grapplers 10* (filmed a few years ago, but not yet released--so, sure, consider this blogpost "buzz") I have rediscovered the glory and wonders of Patrick Donovan, 6'0", 185# (just my size), whom I have admired but not followed closely for over a decade now.  I owned four or five of his NHB-Battle matches on VHS tape till somebody stole them (and your ass is grass, pal, if I ever run into you again in Durham), and I was under the mistaken notion that these fights pretty well summarized his persona and abilities.  I liked his face--I'm always a sucker for soulful Irish eyes--and I liked his moxy on the mats too, but for some reason I didn't think he was showy or aggressive enough for my tastes.  Well, my tastes must have changed.  The man's a tiger.  His ability to mix real grappling skills and homoerotic passion is unsurpassed in my opinion.  He is no longer the gaunt young man who I wished would gain a little more weight.  He's got the weight now, in just the right amount.  For the moment, then, I am in his thrall.  Let's hope his recent stuff for BG East will spark a Patrick Donovan revival in the general kinkosphere.  I was a slow learner, but I've changed my ways.

    * Just for the record, Gazebo Grapplers 10 is uber-hot, but it contains no nudity.  None of these images is from that upcoming release.  I wrote some copy on it for BG East, but this posting was completely unsolicited by Kid Leopard or BG East.  I am sincerely (no hype--and rather hopelessly) smitten with Donovan now. We'll all just have to learn to live with that knowledge.  [Correction:  I apparently got the number wrong.  Gazebo Grapplers 11.]

    I have removed some photos featuring explicit nudity from this posting because they belong to The Arena at BGEast, which owns exclusive rights to them.

    What WWE Type Are You?

    With my man Tyler Black set to move on (and up) to World Wrestling Entertainment, it is perhaps time for me to try to make my peace with Vince McMahon and his indestructible monster.  Frankly, with every indy wrestler I like gunning for a slot in the big time and for the big bucks, I can't afford to ignore the elephant in the room any longer anyway.  Whatever problems I have--still do have--with McMahon's vision of what pro wrestling on TV should be--a collision of Super Bowl and Chippendales and PT Barnum and Days of Our Lives, and precious little wrestling--I have to pay grudging respect for what is, after all, the only game in town as far as most wrestlers and wrestling fans are concerned.  For all its cheesy spectacle, WWE is quite an impressive accomplishment.  I am a Ring of Honor man through and through, but I now have to accept that, with Black's move, McMahon is about to become a member of the family, if only an in-law, and I must make my peace.

    Consider this blog an effort at making that peace.  I have to admit that WWE has a pretty damn fine roster, not all of it scavenged off the shanks of crippled and dying indies.  And though even the hottest WWE wrestlers have a vinyl-doll perfection that makes it next to impossible for me to fit them into my gritty, seedy eroto-wrestling-kink fantasies, a number of them can take my breath away.  The premise of this post--like the similar ones I did last year--is that our tastes in wrestlers are a kind of Rorschach test of who we really are.

    Well, here I am, then.  Feel free to psychoanalyze (and violently disagree--yeah, I know, no Cena, no Bourne, no Edge):

    Randy Orton, 6'4", 245#, looks like an underground comix version of a superhero, RanXerox or somebody, and I mean that, of course, in a good way.

    Ted DiBiase, 6'3", 235#.  Beefy (almost literally "bovine"), and always rather sleepy looking, still his big doughy muscles are sexy, all the more so because they don't exactly fit the formula for bodybuilding perfection.

    John Morrison, 6'1", 223#.  Liked him better when he was John Hennigan, leaner and less stacked, back on MTV's Tough Enough, but he still looks great.  And cocky as hell.

    Dolph Ziggler, 6'0", 221#.  Somebody somewhere identified Ziggler as the "most gay" of the WWE wrestlers, which piqued my curiosity.  The man looks like a "Gorgeous George" Wagner for the Age of the Jetsons, one part "Race" Bannon, one part Max Headroom.

    The Miz, 6'1", 231#.  Another MTV alumni.  Of all the guys on the WWE, Miz looks the most real.  And it counts for something in my book that he's evil as well.

    R-Truth, 6'2", 235#, looks like coffee if coffee could take a punch to the abs.

    Wade Barrett, 6'7", 260#, reminds me of the guy who fell off the Argo and was stabbed to death by the hot young villain in Jason and the Argonauts, and who inspired my bedtime stroking from ages ten to eleven and a half.  Nostalgia.  Also he's six-fucking-seven!

    Tyson Kidd, 5'9", 195#.  His hair is why Justin Gabriel does not have the stupidest hair in wrestling, but Kidd has an insouciant bad-boy look that Gabriel could only wish he had.

    Sheamus, 6'6", 272#.  Pale freckled Irish skin takes bruising well.  Trust me on this.

    Zack Ryder, 6'1", 214#.  Bad boy.  I am incapable of resisting.

    Match Made in Heaven

    In a BG East match from last year (Masked Mayhem 5), Kid Karisma, 5'8", 170#, stands with his mask on, on a pedestal, wrapped not just in anonymity but in the superpowers and macho mystique that a lucha mask represents.  Chikara founder, pro wrestler, and trainer Mike Quackenbush describes the mask's totemic symbolism like this:
    No single prop is loaded with as much drama as the mask of a luchador.  To wear it is to defy the opposition, to deny them your identity and to assume the traits symbolized by the mask itself, becoming larger than life.  To lose it is to be forever humbled before your foe, and to be exposed as being all too human, small and vulnerable. It is almost impossible for me to find the words to accurately convey the importance of the mask to the man who dons it. The moment of unmasking is the point of highest dramatic tension in lucha libre, and it is conducted with an air of respect and dignity fitting for the instant of ultimate revelation. The face of a man will emerge from beneath the mask of a character.
    At the end of Karisma's struggle against the masked Red Baron, another masked figure, Cage Thunder, 5'11", 180#, enters the scene to finish what the Baron started.  By not just overpowering but also unmasking Karisma, Thunder steals the Kid's mojo, ceremonially taking over his identity (literally "owning" him).  It ultimately signifies that the wrestler whose mask is intact has taken on the identity of the loser and made it his own.  The moment also reveals the true identity of the loser--who he is at heart and perhaps who he was always meant to be. 

    (I was just thinking:  What better way, then, for two kinksters in love to seal their holy bond?  The imagery closely parallels that of the unveiling of brides.  The happy couple's match and unmasking could be immediately followed with cake, champagne, and dancing around the wrestling ring.  And don't forget to send me pictures, guys.)


    Hawt Couture

    MMA fighter Ryan Couture, 5'10", 155#, son of UFC legend Randy Couture, turns 28 today.  After a year in amateur fights, he made his professional debut two weeks ago today, choking out Lucas Stark in just a minute into the first round.  (Photo credits: Zee Helmick, Ray Kasprowicz)

    Thursday, August 26, 2010

    Finkelstein on ROH

    Scott Finkelstein takes amazing pictures of wrestling action and wrestlers.  Here are some of his shots of entrances and matches from last Friday's taping in Philadelphia for ROH on HDNet.  Don't know about you guys, but you can sign me up for the Ring of Honor 2011 Calendar.

    Adam Cole

    Mike Bennett vs Adam Cole

    Mike Bennett

    Adam Cole vs Mike Bennett

    Aden Chambers

    Eddie Edwards

     Chris Hero

    Davey Richards vs El Generico

    Eddie Edwards

    Kenny King

    Kenny King vs Eddie Edwards

    Roderick Strong

    Tyler Black


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