Thursday, September 2, 2010

Notes Towards a Biopic Not Likely Ever to Be Made

In the unlikely event somebody ever decides to fulfill my dream and shoot a biopic of the great Hispanic wrestling heel Al Perez, I am pretty certain Tyler Black would be a shoo-in for the lead, as I stated elsewhere.  I have gone so far as to pick a title for this unlikely Sundance audience favorite:  Rudo, i.e. the lucha-libre term for heel.  (And Bruno made an interesting suggestion about the difficult-to-cast role of Kevin Von Erich, with whom Perez feuded in the mid to late eighties.)  Then there's the role of Handsome Stranger, perhaps one of the dumbest gimmicks ever to involve an awesomely stacked wrestler (a thinly disguised Buff Bagwell).  Handsome used to pass out red roses as he made his way to the ring, in an outfit that evoked visions, simultaneously, of Zorro and Chuck Woolery.  I'm not sure how large a role Bagwell would play in our epic, but I can think of two candidates for the part.  If we want to cast as many real wrestlers in the film as possible, we could do worse than to give the role to Mike Bennett, who has a good bit of Bagwell's Stretch Armstrong appeal.  But if we want to give the film a little Hollywood flair, I would, for reasons that push beyond a mere interest in cinema realism,  like to see Ryan Reynolds squeezed into white briefs and whomped and stomped by Tyler/Al, and I'm certain Reynolds would give the performance the right amount of tongue in cheek to make the wincingly bad gimmick bearable to watch again.  (These caps are from the YouTube channel of sportjockma.)

1 comment:

  1. Dear Ringside guy,

    I take umbrage to your shortsighted assessment that "Handsome Stranger" was a dumb idea.

    If you will recall, he occurred at the height of male strippers on daytime talk shows. What homemaker/homosexual wouldn't want a 'roided out slab of beef piledriving another dude for your entertainment and then romancing your love hole.

    This incarnation was, is and will always be far superior to "Buff the Stuff" because of the overpacked trunks 9 times out of 10 trump tights.

    My biggest question regarding Handsome Stranger is how did he keep that Lone Ranger mask on?

    Martha Stewart



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...