Sunday, October 3, 2010
This is my open letter to the wrestling promotions of the world: It's been too long since I've seen two wrestlers' heads bumped.
It used to be, long long ago, that smashing two teammates' foreheads together was as common in tag and handicap matches as arrogant foreigners. But no more.
Sure, the move always rang false--two teammates grab their opposites by the arms and hurl them headfirst into each other--how could that not be choreographed?
But I like it. It reminds me of the Three Stooges and the countless times kids back in the sixties used to crack their friends' skulls playfully during recess in homage to Moe. (Not me, mind you, but kids I knew.)
Why do I like it? Well, for one, it hurts, and hurt equals fun when it's the right guys getting it ... bad guys, usually, especially bad guys who have just hurled the ref and every rule of fair play out of the ring. Or a strong man grabs some pencil-necked manager by the scruff and brains him on the forehead of the manager's prized champion ... a finishing touch to the match (and the champion).
Headbutting also is kind of intimate. This is a stretch, I know, but I'm following the weird dream logic of homoerotic wrestling, where pretty much any violent body contact is simply the allegorical equivalent of sexual contact.
And there's a kind of poetic justice to it: two no-good creeps have been "putting their heads together" for the first three-quarters of the evening, plotting to wreak all kinds of havoc on the golden-haired babyfaces, and now that the tables have turned, the faces put the two heels' heads together for real.
I didn't realize how much I was missing this move till I came across the photo at the top of this post, in which Joey Daniels looks set to bust the heads of Derek Cornell and Buck Albright. (Disclaimer: I'm unfamiliar with the details of this match, so I may have misread what's going on here ... but my point still stands.)
I like to think Daniels had just had enough of these two's hijinks and decided it was time for them to go night-night in each others' arms.