Flash Gordon (Universal, 1980), directed by Mike Hodges.

Sure, an R- or NC17-rated movie can be kinky, but the real test is ... can you make a PG-rated kinkfest that kids can enjoy?  Mike Hodges did, back in 1980.

What makes it kinky:
  1. 6'4" hairy-chested Sam J. Jones chained and stretched in nothing but tight leather shorts and a multi-pronged iron mask
  2. Jones dueling with Timothy Dalton on a tilting and revolving platform bristling with deadly metal spikes
  3. Ornella Muti in red spandex being racked and whipped (later someone quips that she "rather enjoyed it")
  4. the mercy-killing of Peter Duncan, the young treeman, after the wood beast stings his hand
  5. the musical score by Queen
  6. all of Max Von Sydow's costumes
  7. Muti and Melody Anderson's pillow fight
  8. arguably, the mere presence of Rocky Horror's Richard O'Brien

Of course, kink for kids is nothing new.  The 1930s M-G-M Tarzan movies are rife with eroticized violence--and rape-fantasy-tinged eroticism--not to mention quicksand, giant spider webs, loin cloths, bizarre forms of execution, and crocodile wrestling.  In the 1960s, shirtless torture and fight scenes kept me hot and bothered and glued to my TV set every time The Wild Wild West was on.  And, as recently as 2009, I can't be the only one who thought the sleek blue Na'vi men in Avatar (PG-13) were hot, not to mention Sam Worthington's wrestling a mountain banshee just to get some transportation.  (And what's up with all that steamy tension between Edward Cullen and Jacob Black, huh? Is this the secret of Bella's virginity?)

Did I forget any other examples of kink slipped into otherwise "family-friendly" entertainment?


Popular Posts