Thursday, March 31, 2011

March Rankings, 2011



  1. United States (55%)
  2. United Kingdom (11%)
  3. Canada (6%)
  4. Germany (3%)
  5. Australia (3%)
  6. France (2%)
  7. Japan (2%)
  8. Argentina (1%)
  9. Spain (1%)
  10. Italy (1%)
Seventy-seven countries claim the remaining 15% of pageviews.

    Mike and Chris


    Last Friday Chris D'Andrea and Mike Dennis, aka the Jersey Shore Jocks, successfully defended their National Wrestling Superstars tag team title belts against Nicky Oceans and Corey Havoc in South Amboy, New Jersey.  (Photos by Scott Finkelstein and Mark Engel)

    Wednesday, March 30, 2011

    Gospel of the Boards


    In one week the ever-inventive and constantly evolving Beyond Wrestling will venture into live pay-per-view on GoFightLive.tv.  For $9.99 you can watch the world premiere of Gospel of the Boards, next Thursday at 9:00 p.m. EDT.  The show features BW draws like Chase Burnett, Darius Carter, Danny Danger, Corvis Fear, Jonny Mangue, Zack Novack, Jarek 1:20, Pitboss, and Chris Dickinson, who can bring his fork to my bed any time he wants, plus some new faces like Matt Marvel.  (See the promos I capped below here and here.)


    Jason Adonis


    Jason Adonis, 6'2", 240#, is a full-time porn star and part-time wrestler.  His wrestling skills are pretty much limited to wrestling as erotic foreplay--notably in Can-Am's Mat Attack I (2003), in which he battles blond firecracker Marc Stone to emission (as seen below), and two of its sequels (3 and 4).  Handsomely (even prettily) built as a man, with the solid thighs and broad shoulders I find ideal in wrestlers, along with pecs and abs worthy of the name "Adonis," JA does not embarrass himself as a grappler, and perhaps this point should be surprising.  The man's background in the sport, if any, is unknown to me.  But, whether by willing suspension of disbelief or, less likely, an astute appreciation of the man's skills, unblinded by his blinding good looks, I am impressed with his moves--and with his success in selling his and his opponent's holds (though the success is modest by most professional standards).  He takes a smirking pleasure in twisting Stone into knots, and when Stone gets on top of him, Adonis looks entertainingly tormented.

    He is thickly and sturdily built, but his unblemished youthfulness and the Ken-doll smoothness of his tan do not suggest "ruggedness" (for me, anyway).  In fact, his hypnotizing beauty suggests a kind of slack, ethereal idealism that runs counter to the physical, earthy intensity I like in wrestlers.  This is not a serious drawback.  We should all be so lucky to have this guy's good looks.  And as a defect (pretty enviable as defects go), it might be remedied with more combat training--at the hands of a Brooklyn Bodywrecker or, say, in another vein entirely, Big Sexy--and more arrogance, more boldness, more sneering bellicosity, more hard rage.

    I'm puzzled why I would be less put off by Adonis's plastic perfection than by Zack Johnathan's or Rio Garza's.  It's not fair that I accept the one and not others just like it.  But such are the mysteries (and injustices) of sexual attraction.  If my desires obeyed the rules, all the rules, I would be with a woman today--a pleasant, plump, matronly woman even.  As I have said elsewhere, I can see (objectively) the appeal of Johnathan and Garza--would most likely sense it more strongly if I met either of them in the flesh--and I definitely have nothing against either man.  Just an unfortunate inability to be turned on by them.  Yet.  My loss, not theirs.  I could more easily pass that prejudice off as owing to disinterest in boyish prettiness if only I were not drawn to other boyishly "cute" men like Adonis (and Mark Lander and Troy Baker and Alexi Adamov).  And I get a tingle at the idea of stepping into a ring with Adonis that I do not get in imagining myself facing off against other pretty boys.

    There's probably an expression in French for this incongruity.  The French are supposed to be masters at diagnosing the inconsistencies of human affection.  But the phrase is one I don't know--and it may not exist.  The best I can come up with is Pascal's "The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of."  (But he's talking about God, while I'm talking about cock.)


    Tuesday, March 29, 2011

    Powerhouse


    New Zealand wrestler Jade Diamond, 6'0", 214#, meets all the requirements.  Young, big, good looking, tough.  I like everything about this guy.  Especially I like the way he heaves an opponent up on his shoulders to crack the dude's spine a little.  I haven't seen this move done so often and so well in ages.  For just over three years, Diamond has wrestled with Kiwi Pro Wrestling, both solo and tagging with partner Whetu the Maori Warrior.  He now resides in Brisbane, Australia.   Here we see him in 2009, teaching his nemesis The Technician, 6'2", 198#, a longhair who thinks just a tad too much of himself, a lesson in the old school of whoop-ass.

    Wrestling Calendar


    At the start of the month, Arizona wrestler Lance Jeffers teased his Facebook friends and fans with five images taken during a shoot for an upcoming wrestling calendar.  He doesn't appear in the photos, which feature two young unnamed mma fighters whom Jeffers has trained in the grappling arts.  The pictures are not ones that will be used in the 2012 calendar, set for release this summer.  It will feature shots of men Jeffers has personally trained, but Jeffers' image will not be in the calendar.  Jeffers has appeared in seven matches for BG East, seven for NHB-Battle, and at least three others available through WrestleMen.  He is also featured in the documentary film Stronghold: In the Grip of Wrestling (2009), directed by Victor Rook.  (If you haven't seen Stronghold, which delves frankly into the homoerotic appeal of wrestling for many athletes and fans, you owe it to yourself to see it soon.  It's a landmark film, with a focus nearly identical to this blog's.)

    Monday, March 28, 2011

    Jo Atlas


    A silent follower of this blog recommends French championship bodybuilder and wrestler Jo Atlas, 25, 6'0", 259#, for our aesthetic appreciation.  Born in Marseilles, the young bodybuilder grew up in north Africa.  After training in kung fu, karate, and boxing and winning the title of "Mr. France" three times, Atlas debuted in the ring in 2009 with the promotion Wrestling Stars.   Atlas's size raises the question of whether one can be "too big for wrestling," but as long as the guy moves, grunts, grips, sweats, suffers, and causes to suffer, he's got the right stuff as far as I'm concerned.  N'est ce pas?

    Sunday, March 27, 2011

    Kain Unable


    Kain is big enough and heavy enough to cause Krush some trouble, but in this video Krush's domination of the guy is right at 100 percent.  Krush has come out on top in legions of self-taped contests, for as long as I can remember.  The number of challengers who have come even close to turning the tables on him is countable on the fingers of one hand.  And in this match Krush repeatedly turns his scowling eyes to the camera, almost in mockery of his opponent's hopeless anguish, almost as if to say to the viewers at home, "This could be you."  (And "count yourselves lucky" ... or not ... depending on your unique set of tastes in wrestling.)

    Two complaints, though:  one is the disjointed structure of the video.  I'm a fairly patient audience for wrestling.  I don't mind waiting through the long holds and near static stretches, when two grapplers are virtually paralyzed as their muscles strain together.  Here the action is spliced together out of individual strips--not all necessarily from different bouts, but not continuous either--all with the common thread of Krush in red trouncing Kain in green.  We are not watching a full match here, from beginning to end, but rather extended highlights of Krush delivering a prolonged asswhupping to an ill-prepared, though certainly not unsuspecting, most definitely not innocent victim.  We get an array of gestures--stretching, choking, unmasking--all linked by the common theme of Kain getting royally krush'd.  It's like we're watching Kain's private highlight reel of "My Day of Unrelenting Torment."

    My second complaint is Kain's unfulfilled potential for dastardly badness.  In my review of Underground Wrestling 43, I commented favorably on Kain's talent for being a convincing and highly watchable heel.  We get little sense of that here, and I, for one, might have enjoyed watching his punishment more had I but a clearer sense of how much this man deserves the pain that Krush heaps upon him here--over and over again.

    Squash jobs are not my preferred form of wrestling.  They have their place, to be sure, and in the past year I have warmed up to them significantly.  But whatever your tastes, Krush is one of the top go-to guys for this sort of thing, and with his big body and pounding intensity, it requires little suspension of disbelief to accept that Krush is entirely capable of crippling this poor dude.

    Progressively over the past two years, we have seen Krush evolve from the equitable and sportsmanlike athlete we have long known him to be into a formidable and merciless bone crusher (and boner artisan--just check out that thang stretching Kain's singlet in the last half of this battle).  My hope is that, as his evolution continues, we also get to see Krush against some highly capable competition, and Kain perhaps has the stuff to fulfill this role in future Krushco product.

    Saturday, March 26, 2011

    Tri-curious


    According to his stats on Naked Kombat, Nikko Alexander, 5'8", 165#, bangs both women and men.  He's a versatile bottom and comes to the mats with high-school wrestling experience and three years of muay thai, kickboxing, and jiu jitsu training.  For that extra spurt such a regimen must demand, the man has three balls.  How do you argue a man with three balls?  You can't.  Only thing to do is drag him to the Dollamur and give him a good spanking--unless, that is, he's feeling particularly versatile that day.  So far he's made two showings on NK, versus Jake Austin and DJ, winning one and losing the other.  But in balls and bouts, it's quality not quantity that counts, and Nikko knows how to bring it to a sex fight.  Only wish I knew a little Greek right now.

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