Friday, March 18, 2011

neverland and Skull Island Declare All-Out War (not really)

Bard of neverland and I disagreed recently over which BG East video is the must-have video of 2011 ... so far, anyway, since it's only 11 weeks into 2011.  I said Ringwars 19, and he said Sunshine Shooters 4.  Sure, we favored the videos that we wrote copy for in the latest BGE sales catalog, but that is not to say we aren't sincere, credible, and horny wrestling fans first and foremost.  Usually, Bard and I see eye to eye, more or less, but we have our differences.  We have our own tastes, after all, yet we respect each other's opinion.

Late last week Kid Leopard sent Bard and me copies of the new product we hadn't yet previewed, to help settle the matter (or, knowing Kid for the mischief-maker he can be, perhaps to spark a feud).

Back in mid-January, when the vids were divvied up amongst us copywriters, Kid assigned Bard SS4 for good reasons.  Nobody's a bigger Mitch Colby fan than Bard, and Colby's match with Brook Stetson is the third and "main" event on the disk--and it, my friends, is an old-fashioned rip-snorter.  And Bard has spilled more ink (or bytes?) than I have on Z-Man, star of Thunder's Arena and Rock Hard Wrestling, now making his BGE debut.  And, in truth, despite some ambivalence, Bard has shown more interest in Z than I, since, on the whole, I haven't been a Z-fan.

I want to say right off, though, that not being a fan is not the same as not liking the guy.  Z has a beautiful body, I have always thought so, and, in every respect, he seems like the kind of guy I would find personally charming.  Given the opportunity, I can imagine Z and me becoming pals.  Since he's straight (I think), he might even appreciate the fact that I would not likely make any awkward and unwanted passes, though I did once compare him to an aerobics instructor I'd be willing to fuck.  I can imagine Z and me sitting by the beach, slurping down margaritas and discussing our favorite episode of Dexter, say.  But I don't particularly enjoy watching him wrestle.  Fine.  I would understand it if there are bloggers that he'd rather read than me, too.  No hard feelings.  No disrespect intended.

But now let me say this:  Z-Man makes a case for himself as a wrestler on Sunshine Shooters 4. He keeps the smirking to a minimum--although apparently it is impossible for him ever to wrestle an entire match without once cracking a grin and all but winking and giving the camera a thumb's-up.  As Bard himself notes, no small part of the credit for Z's accomplishment on SS4 goes to Patrick Donovan, his opponent (and Donovan cannot rest assured that I will refrain from making passes, awkward and unwanted though they might well be).  Donovan stays on top of Z-Man and gives him the kind of licking he's had coming to him for years.  Credit goes also to whoever made the decision to put Donovan and Z on a wrestling mat, instead of in a ring--the last thing Z needs is encouragement to clown around, and on the mat he is sharp and focused, for the most part, and Donovan keeps him busy, barely giving the pretty muscle hunk time to come up for air.

Most fans of homoerotic wrestling will probably buy Sunshine Shooters 4 specifically for Z-Man.  I understand the appeal.  I applaud it.  I hope it causes this video to sell like hot cakes.  I am just not pulled in by it.  (But let's be realistic, if Z-Man ever forced his way on me, you know I'd be merciful and give the boy a rim job he'd remember for the rest of his life.)  The match that ought to sell this video, though, is the final Colby-vs-Stetson fight.  It's a classic.  A must-have.  Tough as leather, and sweatier than an Oral Roberts tent meeting.  Frankly, I still like my boys Blayze, Mayne, Brand, and Adamov in Ringwars 19, but I have to admit Colby and Stetson bring it in SS4, and bring it with all pistons firing.  I'd still buy the new Ringwars if I had only enough pennies for one video, but the final match of SS4 could possibly push me to call Visa to check my available credit.


  1. Oh no you didn't! :-)

    As always, way too much is said about Z-Man. He's a tasty morsel, but I totally agree with you that the main course in SS4 is Mitch v Brook.

    I've launched a more complete salvo from my home turf today, but I wanted to make this little incursion into your territory to say I'm just cocksure that you're wrong on this one. I think you'll wake up some morning and slap yourself on the forehead and say, "What was I thinking?! Sunshine Shooters 4 was totally superior to Ringward 19!"

  2. Hey, Bard, I just bet you can't wait for me to wipe that stupid little smirk off your face, can you?

  3. Well, reluctant as I am to intervene, I'm going to anyway. I responded to Bard's initial post on Sunshine Shooters, specifically Z-man's match, to say as far as I was concerned it rather missed the point of his appeal altogether. It seemed to me to be a match designed to "prove" that Zack could "wrestle," which sounds like a good thing until one realizes the type of wrestling that's presented isn't what Zack fans associate with him. I went so far as to suggest that you, Joe, with your many insightful posts on what sort of wrestling moves you, seemed to be the target audience, but still doubted that you'd be impressed with Zack's performance. You actually got a free copy of his match, and you still didn't like it!

    There's really no such thing as plain ol' "good" wrestling. There's just specific fans with specific tastes who find specific wrestlers and specific matches that more or less pull their specific triggers.

    The specific appeal of Zack is that he is the proverbial pretty boy, maybe even "too" pretty. A lot of those guys have projected overwhelming arrogance who then back it up time after annoying time. There are some who are "nice"--guys who train and work out, smile and shake hands and consistently do the "right thing," only to make the mistake of trusting the wrong wrestler and maybe ultimately overcome the odds (everyone from Tom Zenk to Steamboat to anyone who's ever been marketed as a babyface) or, more likely in gay wrestling, he fails to surmount those impossible odds and gets his butt kicked and hot body stretched out and tortured for an evening's amusement (Brad Rochelle at his peak). Zack's a bit of a twist--he's the arrogant hunk in terms of looks and personality mixed with the helpless hunk's match record. He's the guy who you want to see suffer, not only because he looks hot doing it, but because he virtually demands to be, to use a phrase, rode hard and put away wet with all the sneering and smirking and flexing and talking absurdly inappropriate trash to guys who are twice as big or vastly more experienced or just play ol' infamously mean. And I think that's what most people who like Zack and want to see him at BGE want to see--not the capable, engaged wrestler who loses anyway, but the sneering, trash talking, strutting around the ring "punk" who gets annihilated until he can't talk anymore and still comes back next catalog for another round. And if in the middle of those matches he turns it up a notch and scores a win on the mats, cool--that makes the inevitable squash jobs in the ring hotter. I know a lot of people think that premise is played out--the hunk who turns his back and gets bashed or whatever. But I think the whole, "two guys stand face to face, flex off with equal arrogance, and lo! the prettier one loses yet again after a scrappy fair fight" premise is thinner still. I mean, fuck--if no one's going to cheat to win, shouldn't one 25 year old with visible abs eventually beat someone twice his age, if only because the vet had an off day or for variety or whatever?

    Do I doubt people won't enjoy Zack's match? Not at all. But I do think what Zack fans generally want to see isn't this match, and is what's missing from the gay wrestling scene these days.

  4. Thank you for your comment, JoshH. As I have said many times, I am pretty much exploring my own kinks here, not trying to theorize about what wrestling should or should not be. No doubt there are people who can comment intelligently on what good wrestling is--I'm in the proverbial "I just know what I like" camp--though I do try to slather on a layer of intellectual analysis from time to time. I find Bard's opinions illuminating not only because we usually agree (the reinforcement IS nice), but also because we sometimes disagree--the differences being as illuminating to my purposes as the similarities. Likewise, your comments. They speak of a common core of ... what? lust? taste? ... which manifests itself across a wide spectrum of individual likes and dislikes. Viva la difference. Debate springs from the same source as good fights do--and, as we all know, without good fights, this blog could not exist--and I would be a very unhappy man.



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