Tuesday, May 31, 2011

May Rankings, 2011

Eighty-two countries claim the remaining 11% of pageviews in May.

The Last Stand


After going broke four years ago and then reviving within the year, One Pro Wrestling showed some nerve in calling its May 28 show "The Last Stand."  Let's hope the title is only ironic saber-rattling, but then, bad news, 1PW canceled its Sunday show the next day due to low ticket sales.  My fingers are crossed that the promotion goes on--but its website is off the Internet (its Facebook, Twitter, and MySpace presences remain, happily).  Photographer Steven Fludder's shots of wrestling studs PAC and Kris Travis that night give us something to salvage, even if (worst case scenario) all else goes to blazes.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Most Valuable Killer


In these pictures, MVK Valkabious and "Power House" Blake Warning duke it out at last Saturday's big fight in Smethwick, England, for New Scene Wrestling.  (Video here and here.)  Take two big sides of beef hanging from freezer hooks and smash them together again and again for about, say, fifteen minutes.  Add the sound of their groaning weight pounding the mat and the excited screams of the fans.  The role of heel fits Blake Warning like a glove.  He does what it takes to stir up the crowd's hatred.  But don't let the still shots fool you.  Virtue must prevail in the end.  Nice touch with Valkabious's boot clocking the back of Warning's head.  A number of near pins follow, culminating with a fireman's carry and a body slam, and MVK hooks Warning's left leg and presses the man's muscular shoulders to the canvas.  He's got him!  A satisfying climax, at the peak of a thunderous crescendo of brute force.

Ivan Gromov



Every adult Russian male under forty I ever met looked like his body was composed 65% of muscle, the rest of it, cum.  Ivan Gromov, 6'1", 221#, fits the description.  Gromov is a big, beautiful brute whose vinegary sweat I'd be happy to mop off myself one day.  In this Independent Wrestling Federation (NFR) match, versus Iron Wolf, Gromov is cowardly, vicious, tricky--and the match quickly descends to chaos.  And it looks like things are set up for a showdown with the equally voluptuous Volcano down the line.  My eyes are already peeled.  No, I do not understand a word of it, but the Russians can hardly be blamed for not having a proper alphabet--not when they bring this much quality meat to the mat--and the slackness of Gromov's gear puts tighter briefs to shame, in my opinion.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Tony Nese


"Premier Athlete" Tony Nese wrestles for New York Wrestling Connection.  I don't know much about the guy except that he's noted for using his legs a lot in a fight.  Here he is at Evolve 8, last Friday, losing to a bigger wrestler, Jon Davis, in a bout photographed by Scott Finkelstein.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Ice Pick


The best shots of "Ice Pick" Vic Capri are on Wrestling Arsenal.  They are featured in one of WA's trademark fotonovelas lovingly detailing the great wrestling matches of history move by move, in this case Capri battling peroxide blond Ace Steel in 2002.  It is one of the all-time great fights for many of us kinksters, in no small part because of Capri's physique (Christ, just look at him!) and a nifty bit of sadism he displays about midway through the bout (vanilla sadism, sure, but nevertheless ...).  The stills are sharper, but you're going to want to see those bodies in motion here, and here, and here, for the full nineteen minutes, thanks to YouTuber sportjockma.  Every sort of hell you could hope to see this beautiful body subjected to is right there for us to enjoy.

Today, YouTuber spanditto published another great Capri match, in which the man battles "devastatingly" hot heel Terry Allen in 1998 (late mullet era) for the Windy City Wrestling light heavyweight championship (when Capri was in his mid-twenties).  I had never seen this fight before, and it's a definite winner.  Allen is a delicious heel and a fine and rascally nemesis for Capri.

Commando Sports Wrestling advertises a three-disk DVD set of eighteen Vic Capri matches, lovingly preserved if not exactly (I suspect) of Criterion Collection quality, for $30.00--on my wish list, for now, just waiting for my ship to come in.

My Kind of Heel


I thought I had a narrow focus for this blog with gay wrestling until I met Bruno of Beefcakes of Wrestling, whose blog name says it all.  The guy is fixated on sinew.  Not at all a bad obsession, as obsessions go--he should just bring his camera to my summer classes this year--it's like Joe's Shakespeare Camp for Bodybuilders--I am not complaining (only wish I had thought ahead and included a unit on baby oil and Speedos on the syllabus).

Anyway, sometimes Bruno's taste for musclemen overlaps with my taste for sadists, as is the case with Josh Daniels, pictured here by photographer Scott Finkelstein (more of the same on Bruno's blog).  If I had to build a heel, I'd have to use Daniels as my blueprint.  Suavely arrogant and gleefully heartless, he has the face of a clean-cut Madison Avenue exec from the '50s and the body of a gym bunny.  I love the guy's sunny disposition as he disposes of his competition--or tries to, he lost this NJPW match to Tetsuyo Naito on May 13th.  Of course here at Skull Island  (and, I assume, on Bruno's site) winning and losing are less important than attitude and pulchritude--and Daniels looks like he buys both in bulk at Sam's Club.

Ty and Trevor


"The Ultimate Athlete" Ty Tyson pinned Trevor Lee in the bright Carolina sun at Jimmy Harris' Birthday Bash 2011 last Sunday.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Justice Served


Just when I thought I might be over wrestling--hard to believe, but, yeah, I was starting to think I was burning out--I get hit in the face with this Pro Wrestling Ohio main event from Sunday (the entire 57-minute broadcast is here--and there's not a dud on the card), in which long-haired Matthew Justice, 6'1", 202#, challenges butch-cut Bobby Beverly, 5'10", 185#, the champion, in a match that dissolves into anarchy only to reemerge as an impromptu six-man tag-team match (you will have to see it for yourself because that's the best description I can make for it).  I may also be cultivating a special kink for wrestling matches pitting a man with long hair against a man with short hair, especially when, as here, the short-haired man is the bad guy.  I already knew I have a thing for fights where I can't decide which man to root for--ambivalence is a powerful aphrodisiac for me--and this match had me bouncing back and forth second by second.  Time to count me as a convert to Justice, Beverly, and PWO.

Big Strong Man

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Voltage


Here's a wrestling angle that gets my juices flowing.  After the redneck Beck Family broke the kneecap of his tag partner Brian Nelson--a man who's close as a brother to him--studly Greg Glover has vowed to track down and cripple the entire family, Waylon, Cousin Bobby, and Cousin Mason, one hick at a time.  On May 7th, at Dreamwave Wrestling's aptly titled Retaliation 2011, Greg submitted Waylon, who had to be scraped off the ring ropes.  One down and two to go.  Greg is scheduled to face Cousin Bobby in the ring on June 4th.  I've been wanting to see Glover in solo action for forever, and this storyline is a great way to present the dark, beefy scrapper at high voltage.

Arch-Nemesis


Mainly I'm drawn to Tristan Archer because he reminds me of a fuck buddy from the early '80s.  There I said it, proving what a self-absorbed and sentimental prick I am.  It should all be about the wrestling, right?  Except that it's not, as you well know.  Wrestling is, without a doubt, the grand design of my passions--but there are other imprints as well--exes, crushes, role models, sexy cousins.  My likes in wrestling--like my likes in other areas--are partly shaped by those I've known, loved, and bought drinks for in the past.  So, for me, gear, moves, holds, speed, agility, and toughness are about 72% of it.  Another 6% derives from my life story.  The remainder is je ne sais quoi.

By the way, the fuck buddy wasn't into wrestling, but he definitely knew his way around a fuck.  If he had a fetish it was for white button-down shirts and CNN.  Still, well worth the two-hour drive to Savannah, Georgia, from where I lived back then. In consideration of him, I'd like to see some hair on Tristan Archer's chest, forearms, and legs--but that's my personal tastes, and frankly I am reconciled to depilated, too.  Shaved underarms still pose a challenge, but you know what?  I came to terms with soul patches and rattails, I can come to terms with smooth and silky pits.

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