Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Tough Motherfucker



Not all stereotypes are entirely untrue. That red-haired dudes are fiery, for one. That they are short-tempered and sarcastic. That their tempers flare unpredictably, for no apparent reason, then subside just as suddenly. That they tend to end up on top in a fight. That the only way to beat them is to have red hair yourself. Every prejudice has some basis in somebody's bloody nose.

Kid Karisma, 5'8", 170#, has more fight in his little finger than you've got in both fists. I'm just saying. He doesn't ask for your respect. He wrings it from you, squeezes it out of every jangled nerve in your body. There's nothing Hollywood or posh about Karisma. He's pure grrr back-alley punk--raw, mean, hot-headed, contemptuous. The kind of guy you don't have to ask twice if you are looking for somebody to bust you up. The kind of guy you see in the newspaper, at the front of the riot or else grinning maniacally into the camera for his mug shot.

Kid Karisma looks like a mash-up of Daniel Craig, Zac Efron, and Axl Rose. Here's a short list of the marketable skills he possesses. Back breaking. Hair pulling. Gut punching. Head scissoring. Face sitting. And nipple twisting. Like all BG East heels worth their salt he's a machine that manufactures sweat and agony. Of his eight (so far) matches at BG East, I have seen three (so far). But Kid makes an impression--for two of these three I have had to look up to see whom he fought against--no names here--but in every one there's a pose, a leer, a blow, an insult, or a hold of Karisma's I can remember as vividly as if I'm watching it this instant.

6 comments:

  1. I would've thought it was impossible to read an entire post about Kid Karisma without any comment at all about his incredible ass. But I think you've captured quite nicely everything else so very notable about him. He certainly holds my attention!

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  2. Just an observation from everyone's least favorite gay wrestling fan... I can't help but notice that the last three current releases you've mentioned, all of which you gave exceptionally favorable reviews, are linked by one obvious common thread: Z-man. While you did admit that he "impressed" you in each match, the lion's share of the praise was for Kid Karisma and Cage in two of the matches and the setting (the pool) in the third. But here's the real observation:

    I think there's an inherent bias in favor of the "winner" when it comes to rating wrestlers. It's ironic: We all know pro wrestling is a controlled illusion with preordained outcomes. We know the guys aren't really trying to kill each other. We know that a lot of the wrestlers we describe as "jobbers" who "can't win a match" could absolutely destroy 99% of the guys who work them over on camera in real life. And yet, when most of us engage in the debate about who the "best" wrestlers are, whether openly among each other or just in our reflexive, not always conscious inner dialogues, we almost always say, automatically, the guy who ends up standing tall in the end. I mean, of all the wrestlers you've rightfully and articulately singled out for praise over the years, maybe a handful, like less than 1 out of 10, have ever lost consistently. Even Bard, who's slightly more likely to gush over a guy for being hot (which is a compliment, btw), pretty much all his Wrestlers of the Month are the winners in their matches.

    I'm not suggesting the guy preening and posing with his boot on some hapless "loser's" chest isn't talented. I'm suggesting that, a lot of the credit we give to him for seeming scrappy, implacably aggressive and inexorably intense and "talented" comes from the guy on the other end. It's in his selling the beating, the expression of shock on his face when his move is countered or the palpable, "I can't believe how much I'm suffering" screams when he's submitting. And it's also in his often having a phenomenal physique, one that he clearly only attained because he put in a level of work that would kill the average person, literally, while still having the humility to play the role to the best of his ability.

    I'm not just saying some old school "the role of the jobber is to make the heel look good" bullshit: I'm actually saying a lot of the time the so-called jobber is actually the real star. It's like back in the day when I used to chat with other wrestling fans online, and they'd mention how they'd bought every single Troy Baker or Brad Rochelle match, but then would always specify some (usually hugely famous) "winner" as their actual favorite wrestler. My thought would always be, you spent about 3000 bucks on two guys, and your favorite wrestle is one you've only simply watched on TV?!? After all, if an actor had three movies or a singer three songs we wanted to pay to see, we'd reflexively consider that artist one of the best out there. So, basically, I'm saying it's OK if you acknowledge Zman is one of your favorite wrestlers, lol. Peace out.

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  3. Hmmmm, I'm not buying the PR on the juiced out red head as a heel, he's too overly manicured and cutesy per his elfin features and pixie haircut. Nothing reads as bad boy, unless you think some stripper could kick your ass. Just because he's wearing a bit of silver and black doesn't make him a heel, personally he looks like all show and no go.

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  4. Thanks for the comments, all!

    @Bard: A regrettable oversight. I appreciate a nice butt as well, but I'm probably not the ass fiend that you are. Karisma's is definitely a beaut.

    @Josh: Evidently we agree. Note my previous statements in my entry for V in "ABC" (june 12) and my mea culpa re: Z in "Bad Language, Fighting, and Unsafe Behavior in the Pool Area" (June 27).

    @Anonymous: I have not yet detected a negative (or positive) correlation between show and go in wrestling. Must look into that. In the Karisma matches I've watched, he is spectacularly and convincingly aggressive.

    @anybody: No offense intended in this post's flagrant use of stereotypes. I'm entirely committed to ginger equality and have nothing but high regard for the, um, trans-gingered (like Emma Stone and Nicole Kidman).

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  5. Anonymous has obviously never seen Kid Karisma in action. He's no stripper nor is he 'juiced out'. He is as talented - or more talented - than any guy working the scene today. He can do it all and he does it with overt sexuality and convincing abandon.

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  6. Just weighing in here. Kid Karisma does it for me. Whatever he's selling, I'm buying.

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