Kid Fite

Kid Fite, 26, 5'11", 189# (though stats vary ludicrously from event to event), looks a bit like Sam Worthington and he sounds a lot like Billy Connolly. But before you start picturing the mix of Avatar and Boondock Saints in your head, stir in a yellowjacket's temper and a mountain ram's assault tactics. Watch this February promo, and if the combination does not stir something in your blood, you and I probably won't agree on a lot of things. But that's okay.

Fite has filled both the heel and the hero roles in his matches over the past ten years, but he once said in an interview that being a heel suits him best (big surprise), and he likes being a face mainly when he has merchandise he would like to sell.

So.

Back in May, "Rapid Fire" Tommy Gunn, 26, 5'11", 176# (again with flexible stats), beat both the odds and Kid Fite in front of an adoring hometown crowd in West Bromwich, winning the title of King of the Deathmatch 2011. Check the posed photo below, and my use of the word "adoring" becomes a bit more understandable, am I right? The guy is a sweetheart. I love the smile. I see no impediments to the sale of Tommy Gunn merch at all. I'd be interested in some myself.

Winner or no, it took Gunn longer to recover from his match injuries than it did Fite, ostensibly the loser, so to prove he is back in tiptop shape as well as still worthy of the Deathmatch title and of a ranking among Britain's top young wrestlers, Gunn challenged Fite to a rematch. Something to prove to the doubters that what had happened in May was no fluke.  And again Phoenix Pro Wrestling staged the showdown on Gunn's turf. The score would be settled this past Friday.

Here's what happened.

Kid Fite kicked Tommy Gunn's freckled ass, right there in front of the adoring hometown mums and dads and their kiddies. Then after beating him, Fite proceeded to grind the handsome hero into the canvas.

Tasty.

Now I'm just waiting for some video to show up on YouTube. And might there be a sequel?

(Photos: David J. Wilson, Seagull Photography, and Model Birthdays)