Monday, October 31, 2011

High Stakes

It was almost ten o'clock before the trick-or-treaters stopped showing up on my doorstep. Two of them, I swear, were men in their forties. I figured them for hobos in search of a sugar rush. As I awaited the next knock on the door, I watched Piranha on TV--one of those fun, stupid, and ultra gory movies I'm liking better than the season's Oscar bait. I had already seen it once at the theater. In 3-D it was more fun, but 2-D did the trick tonight.

Then I got the email announcement that Thunder's Arena has released its holiday edition, Halloween Havoc 2011, with Cameron Mathews fighting Sirus, costumed as vampires. The idea of vampires wrestling has tons of appeal for me (as long as one of them is NOT Gangrel, but especially if one of them is Cameron). So my order for the DVD is in. In the meantime I (we all) have these promotional photos to stake ... stoke our imaginations.





October Rankings, 2011

  1. Jason Adonis
  2. '70s Playgirl Models I Would Like to Wrestle: Enriched and Fluffed Up Edition
  3. Randy Page
  4. "Walt Whitman Wrestling Naked with the Young Trees"
  5. Teen Bodybuilder
  6. Classic
  7. Wade Cutler
  8. Kenny and Paul
  9. Tough Motherfucker
  10. Battle Bang 3
  1. United States (59%)
  2. United Kingdom (10%)
  3. Canada (7%)
  4. Australia (3%)
  5. Germany (2%)
  6. Japan (2%)
  7. France (2%)
  8. Italy (1%)
  9. Spain (1%)
  10. Mexico (1%)
One hundred nations comprise the remaining 12% of visitors to this blog in October.

Spectacular







I can appreciate the Chrysler Building, Big Sur, and Act 3 of Lucia di Lammermoor, but spectacle isn't spectacle for me unless it involves sweaty muscle battling sweaty muscle under hot lights. Here are shots of 4 Front Wrestling's Halloween Spectacular--what looks like a gentlemanly match between ubermensch Prince Devitt and wunderkind Owen Phoenix this past Saturday in Swindon. 

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Let the Face Off Begin


According to the plot summaries on IMDb, Wrestlemaniac (2006), originally titled El Mascarado Massacre, is about a film crew traveling to Mexico to film a porn movie. They stumble upon a ghost town, La Sangre de Dios, where, in lieu of prison or a psychiatric facility, the Mexican justice system has isolated El Mascarado (played by Rey Misterio Sr), a luchador who, some years earlier, went, well, a little nuts and started destroying (literally) his ring opponents, clawing their faces off like masks. IMDb cineastes rate the film a 4.5 (out of 10), which ranks it slightly lower than Snakes on a Plane (which I rather like, well, love actually) but much higher than Hillbillys in a Haunted House. Doomed Moviethon totally trashes it--with a lively sort of energy you have to admire. Netflix's computer software's "best guess" is that my chances of liking it are 1.1 (out of 5), but none of that has stopped me from shooting the DVD to the top of my queue. Amid the cries of "Don't Waste Your Time" and "Stupidest Movie Ever," more than one Netflix user has fondly compared the movie to Scooby-Doo cartoons gone Herschell Gordon Lewis. But lucha libre, horror, cheap porn, Adam Huss (the go-go dancer roommate in 2010's Is It Just Me?), AND Shaggy?--awesome or awful, this almost certainly dreadful movie begs for at least a fast-forward screening on my TV.





Saturday, October 29, 2011

Firestorm/Forearms


Most of you know I occasionally write promotional copy for BG East. (Please, save your applause till the end of the piece. Please.) As you may also know, I share these duties with an estimable crew, including Bard, Cage Thunder, Kid Leopard, and no doubt somebody whose job it is to correct my misnaming of wrestling holds and to tone my purple prose down to mauve. In such capacity, we get to preview the videos we describe and promote in the catalogs. More often than not, Mr. Leopard, the boss, lets us pick which wrestlers' contests we cover. Fairly consistently, I request whatever is the latest from Jonny Firestorm, who has been a favorite of mine since the day he threatened to thrash me within an inch of my life. (He didn't threaten, no, far from it--he made a reasonable request--not to say "restraining order"--in a gentlemanly fashion. But I take artistic license ... in short, I lie.) In all honesty, I've been a fan of Firestorm's for a long while. If I had to say why, I'd immediately say it's his forearms, hairy and thick and, well, male, very male. I could also say with honesty, it's his stomach and his thighs, too. Perhaps more than anything, I admire that he (unlike me) really knows wrestling, knows the moves and their names, and can do them very well. But the short answer will always be the forearms.

His latest venture is the soon-to-be-released match against a newcomer, Dylon Roberts, in the first of a new series called Rookie Wreckers. (The title is not mine. This title is catchy and fun. My titles are not catchy. They tend to sound like semiotics papers at the annual MLA convention, things like "Firestorm/Forearms.") In his years at BG East, Firestorm has moved from babyface (often the "underdog" winning against odds a big-vs-small match) to (after it became painfully clear that the odds would almost always be in his favor) a sadistic heel. I like both incarnations and really could not have asked for anything more of him. But there is more. In the last year, his matches have turned undeniably raunchy. No nudity, no penetration, no sloppy kisses--but more red hot than you'd expect from a straight guy, and, truth be told, hotter than most matches with nudity, penetration, and kissing.

In Roberts, Firestorm may have found his perfect victim. The man suffers well ... and he's cute as a bug's dimple. And he moves well, too. He, too, seems to know what he's doing in the ring. The match is riveting from beginning to end. Dylon suffers every possible humiliation and harm at Jonny's hands (and forearms). It can't be a spoiler to say (I mean, really, look at the title: "Rookie Wreckers") that this rookie does not have a chance of winning and only a very slight chance of surviving. Ordinarily not a fan of squash jobs, I try to note the exceptions to the rule--and this is one of them (one of many, when Firestorm is involved). Looking over the just-published photos on BG East's premium site, The Arena, I feel all fired up again. And, trust me, the stills are just the tip of the iceberg. The beating is surprisingly intense, brutal, and erotic. It may be more than you would have ever expected ... of Jonny Firestorm, ... of BG East, ... of wrestling. Just remember I told you so. Forewarned is forearmed.








77









This little beauty does not disappoint. Next to Krush, of course, the most exciting wrestler at Krushco is Lucien--Krush's most accomplished, persistent, and indefatigable challenger.  Leto, Flash, Braun, and others are heaps of fun, too, but Lucien is the one who first won my heart, and it's Lucien in motion that still revs enough heat to melt me. Marc Matthews is damn fine competition for Lucien, too, close to perfect, in fact. According to the promo copy on line, Marc has long had "a bone to pick with Lucien," and Krush benevolently lent his wrestling pit for the two hotheads to tear into each other--and then caught the action on video at full steam. Plenty of strangulation and scissor holds make his match well worth the $14.95 download fee--even if you go with the "premium" download (at an extra nominal charge that the provider MegaUpload does not bring up until you've already coughed up the initial fee for the "standard" download). I passed on the enhancement, and my boner couldn't tell the difference, but go with your heart on this one. Either way it's worth the price, and for all I know with "premium" you get smacked in the face with some sweat and feel some muscle tightening against your Adam's apple. This is one of the tastiest fights I've seen in the last month.

Oh, and if you're not the type to download and all you want to do is watch, the fee is only $5.95--a steal.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

I Want Wrestling!!!

Too much of a good thing? Is it possible? Not yet, it isn't. You probably won't want to cheat yourself of the full set of Arledge-eye views of last Friday's Premiere Wrestling Xperience rumbles in Charlotte here. Here's the match I most wish I had seen live with my own two eyes (though Blake Arledge's camera gets shots the eye can miss): Zane Riley, Jimmy Jack Funk Jr, and Mr Elite facing off against Alex Avgerinos, Nick Richards, and Joey Janela. Here goes.

Alex Avgerinos, Nick Richards, and Joey Janela

Avgerinos on Jimmy Jack Funk Jr

Zane Riley on Joey Janela

Janela on Mr Elite

Elite on Avgerinos

Elite on Avgerinos

Nick Richards on Riley

Riley, Funk, and Elite on Richards and Avgerinos

Dar vs Sabre








Though the reports are that Noam Dar, 17, 5'10", 200#, beat Zack Sabre Jr, 24, 5'10", 180#, last Friday at Pro Wrestling Elite's show in Cumnock, Scotland, I'm pretty sure Zack gave Noam a few lessons in respect for his elders in the process. Dar, once dubbed "God's Son" and "The Israeli Icon," won his first pro-wrestling title at age 13! Four years later, his arrogant attitude is I'm sure a nice counterpoint to Sabre's quietly charismatic babyface persona. (Photos by David J. Wilson)

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Big Action at Pont-a-Vendin

Four shots of an N'Catch show on 11 September 2010 at Pont-a-Vendin (a commune in northern France with a total population roughly 1/23rd the number of fans who attended Wrestlemania XXVII seven months later, not counting home viewers).

Neo Sheron dominates Tony Cecaldi here, but ...

... ultimately the doubles match went to Cecaldi and partner  Genocyd L'Arlequin, seen here smashing Sheron's partner Mike Skills.

Popular Tristan Archer gets the fans' welcome, but he lost the night to Alexei Petrovitch (not pictured).

Marco Bandidas (Parisian by birth, but Mexican by preference) puts the hurt on Dimitri "Rosto" Soliotopoulos, but later big Rosto pinned him for the three count.

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