Most of you know I occasionally write promotional copy for BG East. (Please, save your applause till the end of the piece. Please.) As you may also know, I share these duties with an estimable crew, including Bard, Cage Thunder, Kid Leopard, and no doubt somebody whose job it is to correct my misnaming of wrestling holds and to tone my purple prose down to mauve. In such capacity, we get to preview the videos we describe and promote in the catalogs. More often than not, Mr. Leopard, the boss, lets us pick which wrestlers' contests we cover. Fairly consistently, I request whatever is the latest from Jonny Firestorm, who has been a favorite of mine since the day he threatened to thrash me within an inch of my life. (He didn't threaten, no, far from it--he made a reasonable request--not to say "restraining order"--in a gentlemanly fashion. But I take artistic license ... in short, I lie.) In all honesty, I've been a fan of Firestorm's for a long while. If I had to say why, I'd immediately say it's his forearms, hairy and thick and, well, male, very male. I could also say with honesty, it's his stomach and his thighs, too. Perhaps more than anything, I admire that he (unlike me) really knows wrestling, knows the moves and their names, and can do them very well. But the short answer will always be the forearms.
His latest venture is the soon-to-be-released match against a newcomer, Dylon Roberts, in the first of a new series called Rookie Wreckers. (The title is not mine. This title is catchy and fun. My titles are not catchy. They tend to sound like semiotics papers at the annual MLA convention, things like "Firestorm/Forearms.") In his years at BG East, Firestorm has moved from babyface (often the "underdog" winning against odds a big-vs-small match) to (after it became painfully clear that the odds would almost always be in his favor) a sadistic heel. I like both incarnations and really could not have asked for anything more of him. But there is more. In the last year, his matches have turned undeniably raunchy. No nudity, no penetration, no sloppy kisses--but more red hot than you'd expect from a straight guy, and, truth be told, hotter than most matches with nudity, penetration, and kissing.
In Roberts, Firestorm may have found his perfect victim. The man suffers well ... and he's cute as a bug's dimple. And he moves well, too. He, too, seems to know what he's doing in the ring. The match is riveting from beginning to end. Dylon suffers every possible humiliation and harm at Jonny's hands (and forearms). It can't be a spoiler to say (I mean, really, look at the title: "Rookie Wreckers") that this rookie does not have a chance of winning and only a very slight chance of surviving. Ordinarily not a fan of squash jobs, I try to note the exceptions to the rule--and this is one of them (one of many, when Firestorm is involved). Looking over the just-published photos on BG East's premium site, The Arena, I feel all fired up again. And, trust me, the stills are just the tip of the iceberg. The beating is surprisingly intense, brutal, and erotic. It may be more than you would have ever expected ... of Jonny Firestorm, ... of BG East, ... of wrestling. Just remember I told you so. Forewarned is forearmed.