Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Double Meat Topping
Thunder's Arena has played on Dominic's name before, most notably in the way, in his early appearances, his red-and-blue trunks parodied Domino's Pizza's colors and design. In No Holds Barred 17, Dominic, 5'9", 180#, in solid red here, tangles with genial Batar, 5'8", 185#, over a burnt pizza. Batar innocently makes a mess of the last frozen pizza in the fridge, blackening it to charcoal from top to bottom, but then he expects Dominic to eat it anyway. The angle is pretty standard fare for the Arena, as the guys typically take their minor spats to the wrestling mat, but Dominic's buoyant personality, along with the constant "meatballs" and "special sauce" puns, keeps everything light and goofily charming. Neither wrestler has the acetylene wit of, say, Big Sexy or Cage, so the dialogue is limited to four or five cheesy lines, repeated ad infinitum, stretched out ... stop me! ... like mozzarella.
(I recommend playing a drinking game with this video: a bottle of Corona every time you hear "Are you ... are you going to be my servant?" Fans of beefcake should appreciate the way Dominic and Batar periodically break up the bout for no other reason than to pose for the camera--a good excuse to shoot a Jagermeister, right there.)
Lately, the Arena has been stretching out, exploring new venues--moving matches away from the mat room and into the swimming pool and the bedroom. The holiday special editions, now in their sixth year, are like nothing you'll find on any other site--genuinely festive, surprisingly, and often sexy too, though the company typically aims for fun and games, not so much hot and steamy. Still, sometimes, deliberately or not, it manages to be both fun and hot. (I'm thinking about Sirus dunking Cameron's head into the apple barrel again, aren't I?)
NHB17 is mainly just fun. Dominic and Batar alike radiate boyish bravura, like nothing so much as a couple of young jocks cutting loose after watching WrestleMania twice in a row. The sex talk is mostly sophomoric teasing. But there's plenty here to break out in a sweat for, as well--tit twisting and ball grabbing, and a strong dose of testosteronic* urge to dominate, yet another way Dominic's versatile name comes into play.
Dominic's energy is what carries this match for me. The guy has what I guess is still called boy-next-door looks, amplified by rock-hard muscle and a Marine buzz cut. The mischievous glint in his eyes defines Thunder's Arena for me as much as Big Sexy's self-parodying savoir faire. The guy enjoys trouble--uninhibitedly kicking it up and taking his licks as they come. Against him, Batar is an ideal foil--moon-faced, drily humorous, and built like gladiator.
I don't think this is the best match that Dominic and Batar have in them--or the best Thunder's Arena has produced--but it is a solid B--a very solid B--robust, reliable, fast, ... and hand-stretched, with a subtle yet distinctive "red pepper kick."
* testosteronic: useful adjective; just discovered it.