The Dream Card: Non-Wrestling Celebs
An anonymous commenter suggested a sequel to my BG East-inspired dream cards last weekend. Okay, I'm game. I love making lists, and searching out photos of well-matched shirtless celebrities is hardly onerous research. And it did take research. For almost two years now I have not been hooked up to cable, so my TV comes entirely from DVDs. (And, yeah, as you can probably guess, I've been watching Season 1 of Teen Wolf this week.) What I know about 21st-century pop culture (precious little nowadays) comes entirely from the Internet and sometimes, rarely, glossy magazines. I can't swear to the fact that none of these guys has ever wrestled in a pro ring or, conversely, that any of them would know a Boston crab from a camel clutch. But it's fantasy. For decades, suspension of disbelief and a nimble right hand have let me fuck way out of my league, so how difficult can it be to imagine these pretty boys bouncing off each other and the ring ropes?
JOE JONAS vs JOSEPH LAWRENCE
CUYLE CARVIN vs MARTY WEST
FRANCOIS SAGAT vs JASON STATHAM
MICHAEL FITT vs COLTON HAYNES
CRAIG HORNER vs DYLAN O'BRIEN
MAIN EVENT: DYLAN McDERMOTT vs CHRISTOPHER MELONI