I Want It Bad


You are hardcore, you make me hard. 
You name the drama and I'll play the part. 
It seems I saw you in some teenage wet dream. 
I like your get up if you know what I mean. 
I want it bad. I want it now. --"This Is Hardcore" by Pulp (1998)
I like it both ways. I like a contest between two wrestlers who resemble each other--two brothers, two tall gangly guys, two salon-tanned peroxide blonds, two leather daddies. Also, I like to watch two wrestlers fight who have strongly contrasting personas and styles. UCW-Wrestling's new release (#201), Aron versus very promising newcomer Twisted Torment, is a near-classic example of the latter.

Last week in a bout with another rookie, Jesse, Aron barely escaped with his left nut. If he's still got a pulse after Twisted Torment is done with him, he is lucky. For most of this 35-minute download, he is not so lucky at all. Aron looks like the high-school swim team captain in a John Hughes movie, and TT looks like a mosh-pit extra in a Black Flag vid. Aron points up the contrast between them at the beginning of the match when he calls the new guy a "freak show." Twisted Torment does not need provocation like this to enjoy making Aron writhe and scream. Both men like to hurt people, but, in this instance, smooth, pretty Aron is either unprepared or plain outclassed.

Twisted Torment regrettably comes to the company too late for a matchup with newly exited Joey Cantrell, who could have provided a close match for this bad boy. Unless there's a "lost video" in the vaults (one can hope), we won't see these two tattooed punks face off. There's still a chance of a meet with eight-packed predator Eli Black. That would be awesome. Straight-edge Axel may have to hit the mat with this punk to teach him some manners and respect ... or try to, anyway. That, too, would be awesome.

For its being a debut match, Twisted Torment comes on strong. He stamps his arrival to UCW on Aron's quivering flesh. He hits the mat with a level of aggression and self-assurance that gets me hard. I want more of this.


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