Thursday, July 26, 2012

Rex Taylor Gets His Man



















A great heel needs to have a great tush. If a wrestler's going to be an asshole, he might as well come fully equipped with the expected padding. AJ Evers is a great heel, and he wears his pretty tush in white, which should not be taken to mean that he's a good guy. It just means that white's good for highlighting a great ass in dim lighting. Here in a young lions match last summer at the Croc Rock Cafe in Allentown, Pennsylvania, Rex Taylor gives him a good going-over and puts him in his place. Rex is muscular and decent. The fans love Rex. (Watch video of this match here.)

The fans scream at pasty-faced AJ, as he stalls for time on the ring apron, "Rex is gonna kill you"  and "You scared?" The fans are right. AJ hurls abuse at the fans and mocks Rex's grandstanding muscle poses, while Rex watches from the shadows behind him. One last time Rex pops a double bicep pose for the crowd. Then the two men lock up. Rex gives AJ a muscly shove that knocks the heel back into the corner. AJ complains that the clean-cut babyface has pulled his shaggy hair. (Not so. But Rex is sure to do so once the action heats up.) 

AJ grabs Rex from behind, intertwining his fingers over the man's rock-hard abs. Rex peels AJ's fingers away, easy as unwrapping candy, causing the heel considerable pain. AJ stalls, as the crowd boos him. The two wrestlers lock up again, and Rex backs him into the corner, pressing his solid weight against him. The ref counts three and calls for the break, and Rex backs off. But AJ slaps him across the mouth and cravenly crawls through the ropes to escape. Rex lights after him, punching the pantywaist and slamming his head on the apron before tossing him back inside. All AJ's cowering can't save him from a stomp to the gut and a stiff punch to the face. Then Rex lifts him up and tosses him overhead for a bodyslam.

Rex drags the heel back to the center of the ring for an elbow drop. He goes for a pin, but AJ thrusts free. Rex swings the man to the ropes for a dropkick, but AJ clings to the top rope and Rex's boots hit nothing but air. AJ points to his head, indicating that brains (clinging to ropes) beat out brawn (having biceps of iron). Taking advantage of the fact that Rex is on his back, AJ kicks the guy's left leg then locks and twists it between his thighs. After some more crippling thrusts, AJ lifts Rex up to his feet, pushes him to the corner, and chops him across the face. He rolls the young bodybuilder out of the ring, bashing the guy's forehead on the apron. In a contest of fists, though, AJ is no match for Rex, who bodyslams the sniveling heel and then rolls the two of them back into the ring. AJ clings to the bottom rope, ignoring the ref's warning, till Rex pries him loose and drags him by the hair for a snapmare.

Again, Rex tries for the pin, but AJ gets his shoulder off the mat in time. Rex drops his leg on AJ's chest and then climbs to the top rope. He tries for an elbow drop, but AJ scoots away, and both wrestlers are down on the mat, dazed and seeing stars. AJ uses the ropes to pull himself up. Then he pulls Rex up and punches him twice. A slug-, kick-, and chop-fest ensues, but AJ can't match Rex for power. AJ whips himself off the ropes, but Rex catches him and slaps his back down to the canvas.

Yet again, Rex goes for a pinfall, but AJ is not yet ready to go. He decides hurling him to the turnbuckle might make him more ready, but AJ leaps over him and tries to get Rex's shoulders to the mat. He fails. He slams the mat in frustration. Somehow AJ thought it would be easier to beat a muscle god like Rex. He whips himself off the ropes only to get dropkicked. Rex covers the half-conscious heel, and the ref counts to three. Rex is the victor, just as the fans said he'd be. Rex makes more muscles, and the fans go batshit crazy.

I enjoy a one-sided match a lot more when the victim has it coming to him, all the more so, I have come to discover, when the victim is a sneaky punk with nice glutes, and the man doing the honors has broad shoulders and a strong back. What I crave is good-looking but cowardly, dirty-fighting wrestlers to get their comeuppance, and strapping babyfaces to finish them off fair and square. I like both wrestlers to be close to the same age, both fit, both adept at dishing it up and taking it--"young lions" in this case, but I'm no less fond of two hairy veterans playing out the same scenario. The kingpin for me is the heel. I identify with him, but still I want to see him get his ass whipped. I'm liking AJ Evers these days, and I'm happy to see he has hooked up with Beyond Wrestling for now. The bad guy is always more interesting as a character, but the good guy, even if he's bland, strong and dumb and probably full of cum, is always going to be the one to set my rocks on fire.

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