Tuesday, October 2, 2012


This is not your granddad's big-vs-little match. The UCW-Wrestling Championship is on the line. Corporal Punishment is the big man. Eli Black is the little man. If that isn't enough of an explanation, let me add that your granddad probably didn't see the big man twist the little man's scrotum like a corkscrew. Not twice anyway, and it happens at least twice here. Also, I doubt the little man in the fight your old granddad saw had to contend at least part of the time with both hands tied behind his back. Shortly past the halfway point of this match--Number 226, using UCW's labeling system--Eli is put in exactly that position, with pretty exciting results.

This match is full of surprises, one of which is the finish, and I'm not about to give that away. Let's just say that if the championship belt changes hands as a result of this fight, it would not be my place to tell you so, nor would I even be so inclined. Some things you just need to see for yourself, and this is one of those things. That said, let me also say that if--and I said if--the belt does change hands in this match, it may or may not change hands in the manner that you might ordinarily think. But now, you see, I have gone and confused the issue so much that I will not be able to squirm my way out of this fix without giving away information I do not want to give away, so let me say this one thing more: whether the belt changes hands or not, this face-off between Punishment and Black is damned near unforgettable. 

Not only is Punishment the reigning champion at UCW but also he is twice the man that Eli is--literally--more than twice would be my estimate. Both are trained in the arts of hurting people--the Corporal in the Marines, and Eli in steel cages and (I would guess, given the boy's habit of mouthing off when he ought to be piping down) in more than one back alley behind more than one dive bar. Given these wrestlers' skills and natural abilities, size ends up being not nearly as important as one might expect. It's an exciting 35 minutes--I'll say that and just stop before I get myself into trouble.

Images edited on request (17 Feb. 2014)

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