The Specialist

The so-called "lost" videos at UCW-Wrestling fill particular niches for the company's fan base. They are actually not lost at all, but rather custom matches that, after a period of time, UCW sometimes makes available to the general public at somewhat less than its usual price. For $450 (current price for a custom match), you can be the producer, casting agent, fashion adviser, and writer of your very own special underground wrestling match. These videos run the full 30 minutes (or longer) typical of other UCW productions. 

Obviously, a custom match reflects the customer's particular interests in wrestlers, scenarios, gear, and, especially, holds. Quite a few of the lost matches have specialized in gut punching and ball grabbing, two of the trademark moves in UCW's general releases, but in the custom matches the desired action is repeated or sustained continuously for all or nearly all of the 30+ minutes. Some requests arrive with detailed scripts, with dialogue; others merely sketch out the desired action in broad strokes, leaving room for the wrestlers to improvise. Most of the lost videos have not been to my tastes, unsurprisingly, since the customers paid good money to ensure that their customized matches reflect their own personal kinks or fantasies. And even when I share the kink, mechanical repetition can dull almost any form of stimulation.

But Klown-versus-James [#239] comes the closest to what I would have ordered if only I had the moolah. It's a 30-minute figure-four leg choke, shot from different angles, with slight variations in the hold and positioning. Even given my fanaticism for long, groaning body locks on the mat, it would be nice if there were some more variety in this video, some punctuation or stanza breaks to reduce the monotony. But in the right mood, I could appreciate a continuum of scissor holds and chokes, both wrestlers entangled and recumbent on the mat, breathing deeply, moaning, muscles twitching ever so slightly, saving me the effort of having to rewind and replay such a moment in a regular match.

And it's great to see Klown again. His last match against James was over two years ago, in which he wore the same green trunks; I commented on them, in fact. His heart does not seem especially in this match; he has the deadpan stare but not the arrogance and squirrelly intensity of Mark Lander. Still, I always found his half-heartedness on the mat appealing. He always seemed less agitated than the guys he was wrestling. He was good, too--at selling other wrestlers' holds and applying his own holds. In this match, Klown's languor is sexy, his smooth body almost unintentionally causing James unspeakable agonies. 


  1. That sounds extreme!

    While I agree that there's too little extended contact these days, I can remember that in the '60s I could sometimes read a chapter of a book or use the bathroom during the time that some hold would go on and on.

    There's such a thing as balance.


Post a Comment

Popular Posts