Wednesday, December 12, 2012


Okay. UCW-Wrestling's getting dirty. And I like it. 

We've got a couple of people to thank for this development: CJ Devastation, who firms up his aspirations to heel royalty in this arduous breakthrough match [#244], his fifth for the company, and Pippin, in his second appearance, the perfect victim, except when he gets tired of playing that way. Both these rookies come of age in this fight and shoot up to the top of my UCW favorites list. Mark my words: before long these guys will be holding workshops to teach the rest of the gang how this is done.

When was the last time you heard a wrestling match start off with the words "You look delicious. I'm gonna eat you up"? The hunger brims in CJ's leering eyes as he speaks these eight words, and who can blame him? In his tight, fire-engine red trunks, bright-eyed Pippin looks like a marzipan figure of Father Christmas as a callow young man. He looks like he'd be literally sweet against the taste buds. 

Devastation takes control quickly, and when he's in charge the gray UCW mats float on a sea of sensuality. "I love blond boys," the carnivorous heel purrs. The heavy breathing almost drowns out the victim's moans. He murmurs huskily, his lips brushing against Pippin's ear. His fingers massage the raw recruit's shimmery smooth skin. He bends down to plant a kiss on the victim's eyelid before gripping a fistful of blond hair and smashing the boy's head to the mat. Through it all, Pip supplies all the right vocals--groans that sound almost like pleas. "Sing for me," Devastation softly commands him. At one point CJ dangles Pippin off one shoulder, pressing the poor boy's face to his crotch, his hips gyrating, hardly noticeably. No wonder Pippin gives him only six whole minutes to cut that shit out!

Pippin's genial name and appearance are somewhat deceptive. The kid's tough. At one of the match's crucial junctures, Pip gives CJ a beating against the wall that's as vicious and stiff as anything anybody else has served up at UCW, including high-stakes players like Twisted Torment and Eli Black. "I'm enjoying this as much as you are," says the cherubic blond, savoring the sensation of having the upper hand. No question about it, Pippin has star power as an underground wrestler, and nobody's a bigger fan of his than CJ. As Pip straddles his waist and fires jab after jab to the heel's abs, CJ coos between agonized groans: "Oh yeah. C'mon baby. Don't stop."

Pippin's got more fire than we (or CJ) ever thought he had in him, but this fight is CJ's from beginning to end. When he's in charge, the room roars, and this man's in charge even when he's squeezed between Pippin's strong but sun-deprived thighs. It's a full 32-minute frat-boy hazing at Owgayar U! Devastation likes to hurt people, he even likes being hurt sometimes, and most of all he likes the feel of his opponent's convulsive spasms against his body. When Pippin barks out, "Get your hands off me!" there's a soft spot in the blond's conviction. Both these guys are having the time of their lives, and well they should because they're making magic right here on video. UCW's #244 video is the all-out hickey fight I've been waiting to see for a long long time.

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