Tuesday, March 5, 2013

What BG East Type Are You? (2013 Edition)

In 2009 and 2011, I composed lists of my favorite BG East wrestlers under the title "What BG East Type Are You?" a play on the then-current Facebook tests to find out what True Blood or Mad Men character one most resembles, based on ten or so multiple-choice questions. The Facebook quizzes were fairly easy to see through, but my own lists were ways to tag my changing tastes in wrestlers, still believing (without being too analytical about it) that one's personal preferences in wrestlers might provide clues to one's psycho-sexuality. Previously, I surveyed the whole history of BG East as I knew it then, claiming favorites like classic mat champ Bass Wallace and one-hit wonder (still pretty dazzling) Daz. Today, I'm focusing on the ten wrestlers on the current roster that I'm obsessing over of late, basically the old list minus the element of nostalgia, though, truthfully, history and nostalgia always play roles in sexual attraction, since the men I'm drawn to often remind me of men I have known, craved, and/or had in my younger years.

Austin Cooper has a number of qualities I admire--height, hard and thick muscle, a class-president's bland good looks combined with a heel's sadistic instincts, and strong ring and mat skills. The heel who looks like a babyface has always had a special allure for me, as has another of Coop's personas: the good and decent hero who, when pushed into a corner, can get as down and dirty as the bad guy cares to take things.

[Photo Removed*]

Gil Barrios appeals to a side of me that favors untamed wild boys, an impression more evident when his hair is long but still lurking just below the surface when his hair has a more conservative trim. His lack of inhibitions over getting naked and making his opponents naked too stems from his unblushing embrace of polymorphous perversity and the synthesis of eroticism and aggression. His gleeful assault on Skip Vance did it for me, and going on to serve up the same on Skip's boyfriend Christian Taylor was raunchy perfection.

Damien Rush caught my attention as Morgan Cruise's whipping boy, but what sealed the deal for me was his hot, hairy-chested heelery in Gazebo Grapplers 14, against fellow newcomer Ben Monaco. I appreciate six-pack abs, but to my way of thinking they're secondary to firm convex stomachs that seem to dare you to punch them, but paired with a hairy chest, they're damn near irresistible.

Kid Karisma is electric. Well named, he has a superstar's charisma and a strong (even brutal) fighting heart, but with the quick wit and comic expressiveness of vintage Cary Grant. If anything, his body is almost a little too toned for my tastes--I like a little something to bounce off of--but it would be petty of me to fault him for physical perfection. I might prefer him with a bit more body fat, but he's got hungry, sexy eyes, and, of course, legendary thighs and ass, not to mention the hairy chest to offset his washboard abs. I can't take my eyes off the guy. 

Alexi Adamov took his time in winning me over as a wrestler. I was ready to buy in on his spectacular physique when he first tried on the metallic trunks Brad Rochelle tossed him in his debut years ago. But in Ringwars 19, when he swung from a beam to catch Nick Naughton in a dangling headscissors, I was sold on the man's ring wrestling showmanship--it's a move that has haunted my wrestling fantasies ever since.

Eli Black, like Kid K, is thinner than I ordinarily like, but he's got a way about him that transcends mere physicality. The only one on this list I've actually met in the flesh, he was even more fascinating off camera than on--the guy glows, somehow--and on camera he's pure adrenalin-fueled attitude, with fast, smooth, and lethal moves that make his body a weapon, not just an object of admiration. A match pitting him against Karisma would be fucking awesome.

Jake Jenkins looks like a Disney prince. He's got the dark, glum handsomeness of a Byronic hero, but a distinctly North American simplicity in manners and attitude. Teamed up with Austin Cooper, he's at his liveliest, but his steely, no-nonsense competitiveness in singles matches against Eli Black and Jayden Mayne have been charged with violent intensity and psychologically convincing portrayals of envy, egoism, and oneupmanship. In Wet & Wild 6, his battle against Christian Taylor, a fleeting shot of the wet imprint of his swim trunks and juicy ass on a wrestling mat knocked me for a loop.

Trent Blayze is fulfilling the potential I first saw in him a couple of years ago with each new match. His suntanned good-ole-Southern-boy looks are what grabbed me when he debuted against Jayden Mayne (making his debut in the same match). I like that he's getting fitter with each new appearance, but honestly I think a hint of flab topping this guy's muscle is like bacon on a burger ... and totally in keeping with the look of the rowdy babyfaces who used to swagger into regional wrestling rings in the South. His resemblance to these west Georgia plowboys and Baptist preachers' sons is no doubt a large part of my attraction to him.

Chace LaChance used to be slim, and I never paid him any attention. Then he bulked up and got beat up by Morgan Cruise, and my jeans could not contain all the wood that stacked up. Lately, he's been flirting with being a heel, which is a fantastic direction for him right now. As much as I purport to love arrogance and charisma in wrestlers (and I do), it's interesting to me that I'm mostly turned on by stony-faced, meaty-bodied stoics, strong, silent types whose voluptuous muscle provides all the flash they seem to need.

Marc Merino, like Chace LaChance, caught my eye as he suffered under the black boots of Morgan Cruise, a classic blackhearted heel who by all rights should be on this list too, alongside the three guys he has propelled into my fantasy life over the past year. (I have no defense for leaving Morgan off this list except that, by doing so, I give myself the opportunity to point out here his excellent taste in victims and his incomparable style in exhibiting their bodies, as precise and mindful a presentation as a master sushi chef's.) Merino has the hard round gut and massive limbs that make me weak in the knees. Like Trent Blayze, he takes me back to the old-school wrestlers I loved in the 1970s, in this case guys like Dino Bravo and Ricky Steamboat, whose muscle and silky skin bounced elegantly against ring ropes and canvas-covered plywood. What I haven't yet seen from Merino is much by way of ring savvy or flair for drama, but that honey-colored torso and newly added goatee make up for all kinds of deficiencies in other areas.

* I have removed some photos featuring explicit nudity from this posting because they belong to The Arena at BGEast, which owns exclusive rights to them.

1 comment:

  1. With the exceptions of Eli and Morgan, these guys would appear on my list, too.

    I bought and recently watched Gabriel Ross and Arn Nedic . Both very hot. Arn had the better opponent in his match, though I wished he would have won. Gabriel deserved better. I'd have been most incensed if he had lost. I hope they both make return appearances, enough that they could qualify for this list.



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