Saturday, May 4, 2013

Extra Virgin










UCW-Wrestling's latest number [#277] finds Axel entering the mat room to discover that Johnny Deep has covered the mat with clear plastic. It turns out that Johnny's girlfriend suggested that he try an oil match. (I'm thinking that if she made this recommendation, she probably meant an oil match with her. But I'm just guessing.) Axel is game but not particularly enthusiastic. He's done "so many oil matches" that he seems a little blasé over the prospect of one more. But he's intrigued that Deep's gung-ho about it. 

Axel has got some size and muscle over Johnny, not to mention experience, so he manages to dominate for most of the bout. Both wrestlers are young, boyishly androgynous, wholesome as altar boys. Slender and pale, glazed in oil they look like life-size Lladro figurines. Johnny is clearly having the time of his life. He can't stop smiling--the most adorable smile at UCW, in my opinion ... hell, probably in all of wrestling. We get the expected UCW hijinks in this fight--ball grabbing (especially), choking, arm bars (a personal favorite, always), and gut punching, but smeared all over in olive oil. Topping things off is a killer chokeout. A terrific finish.

With this match UCW strides more aggressively into the eroticism of wrestling, a trend at the company I've observed for the past few months. There's still the tough guy stuff, too, and the requisite hetero disclaimers even here, but I like that the company is exploring new territory and not playing it safe, learning a new trick almost every other week. And I would like to thank Johnny's girlfriend for her input on this last release. I can't wait to see what she comes up with next.

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