Saturday, June 8, 2013

Jack and Johnny

Private Jack Marino and Johnny Deep, two of UCW-Wrestling's fetchingest wrestlers, go at it in the company's newest release [#286]. Deep, a deceptively pretty young wrestler, is neither as sweet nor as innocent as he looks, his taste for sadistic violence all too clear the moment he chomps down on his opponent's nipple halfway through this bout. Marino is more methodical in his approach--targeting one limb at a time, while constantly bombarding the abs, till all that's left of Johnny's trademark smile (all dimples and teeth) is an agonized grimace.

It's Jack who starts things off, stepping on Johnny's back while he warms up with a set of pushups, criticizing his gear (a hardly-there g-string) and the "jiggles" of his snowy-white glutes. The two lock up, and after a hard struggle, Jack succeeds in dragging Johnny down to the mat, stretching his legs wide, and then trapping him in a bodyscissors. Next, he straddles his adversary's midsection to deliver twenty sharp jabs to the lower abs, capped with a two-fisted clutch on the codpiece, twisting the man's junk right and left like a joystick.

Over the past three months, Johnny Deep has faced two of UCW's toughest fighters, Eli Black and Axel (twice). Whether holding an Easter basket or covered in olive oil, Deep manages both to look Disney adorable and to fight UCW tough. His balance of the two perhaps makes him the most desirable face on the roster. Pvt. Marino, who too has challenged Eli and Axel this year (as well as a reputation-making fight with Nick Diesel), is an excellent match for him, and I look forward to both these guys' eventually going toe to toe with the company's other new talent: especially guys like Lance Thrust, Quinn Harper, and Diesel.

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