"Big fuckin' balls on this kid." Aryx Quinn mutters the phrase after Jonny Firestorm bests him on the wrestling mat (in one of the hottest singlet matches I have ever seen). Yes, Firestorm has humongous balls. He's the most fearless and aggressive wrestler at BG East. He specializes in two types of moves: the merely impossible and the shit-can't-be-happening impossible. He twists opponents into so many positions you almost believe he could make "swans" and "giraffes" out of them. And this past week his fight with Aryx (on the mat, in the ring, for over an hour) is The Arena at BG East's 10-year anniversary gift to its subscribers only. The gift couldn't be more appreciated.
As for Aryx, it took me years to get it through my thick skull that he's more than just a pretty boy. The smooth operator might have more style in his left nut than 90 percent of underground wrestling's pretty boys have in their whole bodies, stacked on top of each other. And Aryx has personally stacked a good many of these guys on top of each other. As shifty and vicious as he is hot, Aryx is the man many of us fans love to hate--we love it when he goes for the cheap shots against his opponents, we love it when they turn the tables on him and rip him a new asshole.
In the mat room, arrogant Aryx barks orders at Jonny, commanding him to mop up the mat and make it shine. Jonny promises to mop up the mat ... with Aryx ... and proceeds to do just that. It shines. Made to whimper like the little bitch he is, Aryx retaliates with a stiff forearm to Jonny's groin. Jonny tells him that if he wants to go for the low blows it's time to take this conversation upstairs to the ring. Foolishly perhaps, Aryx accepts the challenge.
This video has many memorable moments. The standouts for me are Aryx choking Jonny with the straps of his singlet, Aryx suiting up for his ring match (six full minutes in body-worship heaven), Aryx's rage over Jonny's folding his gear inside out (it's Aryx's "no wire hangers" moment), Jonny suffering (does anybody do it bigger or better? especially when he wearily climbs his opponent's leg), Jonny dishing up some of the hottest corner punishment I've ever seen, Jonny clutching Aryx's balls while at the same time snapping his spine in the torture rack, the sweat on Aryx's chest and stomach, and the stroke-inducing finish (which will be talked about for years). Overall, watching a hot number like Aryx getting worked by an E-ticket heel like Jonny is so much sweeter when, like here, the punishee so richly deserves everything he's getting.
Individually, Jonny and Aryx are amazing. Two legendary heels, two of the sexiest men in wrestling. Setting them on each other is, so far, BG East's best idea of 2013.