Thursday, September 26, 2013


Logan Matthews mocks Zack Johnathan for warming up before their imminent match at Rock Hard Wrestling because, he says, "Let's face it. Wrestling's not real." 

Still, he comes to the ring in wrestling trunks and helpfully feigns unawareness that he's about to get shit kicked out of him.  That's good, because Logan has a way of instantly triggering a viewer's urge to see somebody's face crushed beneath a wrestling boot--preferably a white wrestling boot and preferably on top of a face like his. You know, I might as well flat out say it's specifically him I want to see beat up, oughtn't I?

  • Because he smirks when he asks Zack, "You going to show me some fake 'moves'?" Logan even supplies the finger quote marks. (I'm not sure where you'd find it in the rule book, but finger "quotes" automatically necessitate an ass-kicking.)
  • Because Zack looks like a million bucks in black and blue trunks, and he's all fired up after scraping Kyle Carter off the bottoms of his boots.
  • Because Logan  presumes to step into the ring against the vastly more experienced Zack. (Dumb ass.)
It doesn't take Zack long to thrust Logan into a corner, stand on the middle ropes, and strangle him, his stomach pressed to the rookie's chest. I like that. "This is serious stuff," Zack informs him and then stomps him till he's flat against the turnbuckle. Then he picks Logan up and bodyslams him to the mat. Four kicks to the man's thigh inspire Zack to go the extra yard and stomp down hard on the guy's defenseless nuts, too. Go get him, Tiger! 

Then after just now bitching about how fake wrestling is, Logan then accuses Zack of fighting dirty. Damn right Zack fights dirty! Real enough for you now, ass-wipe? I hope Zack knocks your fucking block off! (Sometimes I get too involved.) More than once Zack comes close to choking Logan out, but decides it would be letting the guy off too easy. Zack throws everything at Logan short of snapping some ligaments across the middle ring rope--but, then, what's a second round for?

My one complaint is that Logan does not have an ounce of fight against Zack--real or fake--just a whole lot of lip. And though I'm thrilled that Zack pulverizes the pompous creep, with extreme thoroughness, I would like to see Logan put up a bit more defense, even if offense is totally off the table for this bout. Maybe another day, in another match, against another adversary. Ethan Axel Andrews? Brodie Fisher? Eli Black? Dinner's waiting, boys!

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