Beretta

I'm going through a little Rip Beretta thing this week. I know very little about him. I've known the name for many years, and I'm positive I had seen one, maybe two, of his videos for Can-Am back in the 1990s.

Something made me remember the name, anyway. Maybe it was the name itself--very cool name for a Mickey Spillane character or an underground wrestler. But twenty years ago, when he made all three of his video matches, reportedly at age nineteen--all of them part of Can-Am's "Canadian Nude" series--I thought very little of him. 

It might have been the blotchy facial complexion; more probably it was something else--I don't know what it was. My best guess is that in 1993 I had a fairly specific image in mind of male beauty, of what I wanted a wrestler to be like, and he didn't fit the mold. 

Now I can't get enough of him--but he shot only three matches, so I am limited: first against Aaron Aubrey in Canadian Nude Pro Wrestling 1, then against Rich Monet in Canadian Nude Oil Wrestling 4,  and, finally, against the best of his adversaries, Jimmy Dean, in Canadian Nude Pro Wrestling 2. Where he went after that, I do not know.

I told you I know very little about him. 5'8", 170#. Three matches. But something about him now strikes a chord with me. His hairy muscular legs, his rockin' upper body, his Hershey-Kisses nipples, the sensual gap in his teeth. His air of ... well, not exactly rough trade, but rough trade's tough little brother.

His match against Aaron is him at his best. He and Aubrey go after each other like wolverines trapped in too small a cage. The fight resembles what I think of as a "male cat fight." Both throw caution to the wind. Neither seems concerned with his look, his dignity, his coolness quotient. Concerns about personal safety take a back seat to their fervent desire to tear each other a new asshole. One key moment, in the fourth picture above, is when naked Rip kneels over Aaron's head and crooks the whimpering boy's wrist into a painful submission.

His match against Rich is an oil match. I love oil matches, but they have their limitations, wrestling-wise. Sexy as hell, but the wrestlers can't get much traction on each other. Nude oil matches end up being like very slow butt-fucking. I'm not complaining. I enjoy watching Rich and Rip sort of going down on each other. But it's not exactly wrestling either. Closer to water ballet, which is nice, too.

As I said his match against Jimmy Dean offers Rip his best competition. I prefer the Aubrey match because of its feeling of mutual assured destruction. But this is good too. Dean does his usual heel thing, which is superb, but of course that leaves Beretta little choice but to suffer. Yet he suffers well, and he gives Dean a good run for his money, too. The two together are like sex on a stick. And this one ends with a terrific jerk-off session.

The pictures above are screen caps. The good people at Can-Am may prefer that I use their professionally shot photos when I gush over one of their wrestlers, but since I didn't have much information on Beretta and am totally enthralled with him this week, I decided to go with screen caps--more personal, since I can pick the instant that immortalizes the fight for me, then tweak the color saturation and lighting. I was going for a stained-glass look.

This is like a little shrine I've made to Rip Beretta, in commemoration for how he's been knocking me out all week long, and in apology for taking so long to care about the work he did at Can-Am.  

The first five shots are Beretta versus Aubrey, the next three are Beretta versus Monet, and the last four are Beretta versus Dean.