Monday, November 25, 2013

Hiro








Billy Gunn's bigger than the typical UCW wrestler. He looks a lot bigger than the new guy, Hiro--a name, interestingly, that means "big" or "abundant" in Japanese. My initial take on Gunn (fairly new to the company, too) was that he's a "loudmouthed drawling bully," a characterization that's more evident now that he's in charge of hazing the new hires. 

Case in point. Hiro, a nice looking manga fanboy from Miyazaki, Japan. He's slender but well built, especially in the thighs (nice ass, too). In an interview with Axel that's currently on view at the UCW site, Hiro says that what drew him to the company was its "family" feeling, referring to the fact that every UCW wrestler gets a crack at every other wrestler on the smallish roster. It's hard to tell whether, before squaring off against Billy, Hiro understood that this particular "family" never tires of smashing each other's balls.

Gunn starts off by promising to "hog tie" the guy, mentioning in passing that "yellow" men are rare in his part of the South--as is, apparently, cultural sensitivity. And manners. He slaps the rookie in the face and flashes his toothy good-ole-boy smile as Hiro recoils. "You like that, don't ya?" he crows as Hiro charges in, just as Billy had meant him to all along. Since Hiro comes to UCW with virtually no wrestling experience, Gunn has free rein for the first half of this 33-minute match and subjects the recruit to every humiliation he can think of.

But Hiro turns the tables on the big-boned bully at the halfway point, demonstrating an unexpected aptitude for UCW-style mayhem. As Billy begins to feel Hiro's wrath, the stereotypical cracker pleads for mercy, suggesting that the two of them might even become "friends." Quite an offer, but then he makes an unsporting grab for the kid's hair. Hiro tightens a full nelson hold on the brute and tells him, "No use. You're in my clutches." A quick learner in the art of talking sass, the soft-spoken newby calls Gunn a "dumpster baby," to which an offended Gunn objects, having been conceived properly, he says, "in the back of a Greyhound bus."

It's a good fight. I like Hiro, and Gunn is a hoot. The battle hits all the usual points we expect of a UCW match. No surprises, given the setup, but no major missteps either. With some training Hiro could be a big star in his own right. The raw potential is there, and the good looks too. As for Billy Gunn, I'd like to see Quinn Harper or Eli Black come back to town and go all savage up and down his ass and knock this overbearing bully down a peg.

3 comments:

  1. The verbal taunts between Hiro and Billy are almost comedic at some points. Billy clearly enjoys working over Hiro's body parts. In addition to his frequent attacks on Hiro's bulge from the outside, he shoves his hand inside Hiro's basket for close to a minute and a half before Hiro can break the hold. Hiro's butt is another favorite target and his suit gets pulled down for extended periods. There plenty of shots to the abs and solar plexus as well as recurring nipple holds. Hiro just keeps taking the punishment without giving up. Agree that with training and experience, Hiro has the potential to be a great wrestler. He already has the body and the mental toughness.

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    Replies
    1. Petrarch, I want to see Hiro go up against Pippin or Johnny Deep--a more even match, size-wise. I hope Axel and Bodyslam plan to groom this kid for big things ahead.

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  2. Sorry, but UCW matches are so staged and so fake. I know some people enjoy this type of "wrestling", but the fakeness is overwhelming.

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