Hard Candy

In UCW's latest output [#334] Johnny Deep challenges Michael Hannigan's claim to the championship belt, and the special guest referee is Jack Marino, returning to UCW after several months' absence, called away by the Marines.

Michael and Johnny skip the usual opening repartee and get right to wrestling. As I have noted elsewhere, whatever their slim builds and milky skin tones might suggest, these guys play rough. They thrive on hurting people and don't mind getting hurt so long as it puts them in a position to work some serious damage upon an opponent's body in turn.

The champ holds nothing back. He leaps into the air to stomp his bare feet full force upon Johnny's shoulder blades. Then he follows with four vicious knee jabs to the challenger's kidneys. A surfboard stretch causes further trauma to Deep's spinal column. And it takes the ref forever to ask the beleaguered Johnny if he wants to submit. No doubt Jack is too caught up in the action to intervene. Johnny refuses to give up, of course, intent on toughing it out, if for no other reason but to sweeten the thrill of payback to be exacted later.

Johnny's stubbornness only encourages Michael to redouble his efforts to demolish the challenger. A snapmare leads to a trio of spine-jarring kicks and a merciless chinlock. Strangulation and a round of gut punches follow. Next, a camel clutch that seems unnecessarily vicious--Michael is either unaware of his own strength and rage or intent on sending a message to any challenger who thinks he can step on the mat with this champ and walk away whole.

Johnny suffers a full and uninterrupted 13-minute beatdown (that's roughly twice the length of most pro matches on YouTube, and this fight is not even halfway over). When Michael gets too involved in berating Ref Jack for his slow counts, Deep catches his second wind and, for the first time, stomps down on the out-of-control Michael.

It never ceases to amaze me how violent a couple of clean-cut teenage heartthrobs can get when they step on the UCW mat in a pair of too-tight trunks. Although this match hits the typical buttons of UCW's well-defined product, it stands out from the rest as a showcase for Michael's and Johnny's resilience and athleticism, never so well exhibited as in this contest. With enough close, detailed mat work to keep me smiling and plenty of eye candy too (Deep's cornflower-blue bikini is packed!), UCW's latest counts as one of its best.