Sunday, March 9, 2014

Introducing Hunter Day









What we have is basically a simple setup: seasoned ex-champ taking on the new guy. UCW-Wrestling's latest video release [#339] is a rip and strip contest, with newcomer Hunter Day, 5'10", 160#, on the receiving end of both the stripping and the ripping. 

Hunter shows his colors early. During the introductions, he slaps Axel across the face. Sassy punk, this one. In black baggy shorts that hit the knees, he says he doesn't need skimpy gear like Axel's aussieBum briefs (a gift from a fan) to look good. Uh huh, sounds to me like somebody is just begging to be held down and humiliated. 

Axel keeps his cool, saying, "I'm a likable guy around here." He maintains his best Miss Manners tone as he lectures Hunter about being nice so fans will send him intimate gifties, too. "Maybe I'm just here to kick ass," Hunter growls back, with a voice that sounds buried in a wasp's nest in his chest.

"I got no problem putting guys like you in their place," Axel replies, giving up on the Mister Nice Guy routine. When the bell sounds, I see Axel's jaw set in place, molars grinding, as his eyes zero in on the newcomer's throat. I check the progress bar at the bottom, just to verify that this match is going to be UCW's usual length. Yep, 32 minutes, with a few seconds to spare. Only from the look in Axel's eye for that one split second, I would have guessed maybe Hunter Day had only three minutes of screen time remaining. 

The two lock up, bracing themselves skull to skull. Then suddenly Hunter twists Axel's arm off to one side. The skinny Smarty-Pants is pretty slick ... and tough. No pushover. Maybe as bad-ass as he seems to think he is. He caps off the armbar with a trio of barefoot kicks to Axel's abs and then a derisive kick to the ex-champ's ass.

So all this gets Axel in the mood to fight this guy. Not just "fight this guy" like "go a few rounds to break the newby in," but more like "beat this motherfucker till he breaks." That's the Axel I like to see. He circles around Hunter and scoops him up in a reverse bear hug. Hunter vainly tries to pull Axel's fingers loose. It's fun watching Hunter act like he's not in pure h-e-l-l as Axel snaps him back and forth like a gym towel before setting him down on his feet, putting shoulder to the lower back, and ramming the punk face-first into the tarp--only concrete blocks behind that pretty blue tarp ... no padding in between ... I've been there, seen it with my own eyes. Sppplat goes the bigmouth recruit.

Maybe nobody told Hunter Day about the house specialty at UCW. He looks a little dazed when he's backed up to the wall and feels his stomach repeatedly pounded against his spinal cord. Then Axel snap-mares him to the center of the mat for some power-tenderizing, like he's visualizing his fist going straight through Hunter's midsection and connecting with the mat. The way that Axel does sometimes.

Hunter grits his teeth, doing his best impression of somebody who's not going home tonight with a hole in the center of his gut. When Axel's done, though, Hunter opportunistically goes for a cheap shot, fist clanging to Axel's tight balls, proving that Hunter sent his 8x10 glossy and application letter to the right wrestling company, all right. I think this guy is going to fit right in. But after that low blow, my bet is more than ever on Axel to put this dirtbag in traction for a week before we see his skinny ass again at UCW. And Axel makes sure we get a good close look at that skinny white ass before he's done mopping up the mat with it.


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