Dirty Blond

In the opening match of BG East's upcoming Ringwars 22, Caleb Brand takes on Donnie Drake. Having praised the final match (of four!) on that disk yesterday, this morning I want some flaxen action, so let's backpedal to the first. It looks like the match was shot a few years ago, but I can't imagine why BGE would keep it in mothballs for years. It's a lulu.

In previous posts, I have discussed Caleb's special blend of heelery ("deadpan, sardonic, and sadistic") and his golden locks, the overall effect being something like a mashup of Biff Tannen attitude and The Little Prince looks. He's not always the villain, but even when he's purportedly the hero, it's a safe bet that his opponent will be peeing blood after the match.

Donnie is no stranger to cheap shots either, and though he is the bigger of the two, he and Caleb make an even match. Caleb dismisses the reality TV star as a "flash in the pan," already in the final seconds of his fifteen minutes of fame. His mistreatment of Drake is tasty, partly for its own sake, because Caleb is a maestro of physical abuse, delivered with a headsman's deadpan work ethic, and partly for its promise of comeuppance as a fired-up Donnie Drake demands payback.

The match's big finish (after a teasing false finish) is everything I might hope it to be. I don't want to spoil any surprises, so that's all I'll say about it. Maybe this setup and set of wrestlers aren't to everybody's taste, but parts of this match (especially the finale), even in retrospect after several weeks, get a rise out of me.