Sunday, June 15, 2014

Alex's Wrecking Service










I have to give Rock Hard Wrestling credit for giving Alex Waters free rein to do what he's good at, which is (1) looking terrific and (2) delivering a beatdown. Good looks and meanness go a long way in my rather bent moral universe, and Alex is one beautiful box of brass knuckles and shivs. I am a starstruck fan of him and his heel style. He looks like the boy next door, all dimples and Pepsodent smile, not a hair out of place, but he acts like the head dungeon master at the Sade/Sacher-Masoch Day Camp for Unbelievably Bad Boys.

Who is the new meat the RHW has thrown at Alex's black-booted feet? His name is Justin Silver, and by the looks of him he's a "nice guy" (even Alex says so, with the faintest hint of a sneer), and my guess is that he doesn't have a clue what he's in for, so clueless that I bet he's gonna make a crack about  Alex's immaculate hair. Ooooh, he did, and he looks pretty darn pleased with himself for coming up with that zinger. Professional that he is, Alex shrugs off the unkind dig and promptly kicks the Boy Scout in the hamstring. Hard. Justin collapses like a soufflĂ© at a cloggers convention. He doesn't even have time to look stunned before Alex drives the heel of his boot to the nice guy's shoulder.

If you think you know where this is going, I'd say there's a high probability you are right. And isn't it great? Watching Alex coolly dismantle an opponent always puts a big smile on my face. It takes Justin six minutes to decide to fight back, and he gets in a few good licks too. Alex even does a surprisingly fine job of selling the agony. (Maybe somebody's been taking Jobber 101 classes?) He doesn't overdo it, though, and he seems okay with the fact that the new guy may be a better sufferer. Besides, Alex knows (and we know) that in two minutes it's going to be his show again.

From the look of things, the new guy may not even last through the first round. But we're all here to watch Alex, right? Damn he is fine! And coldblooded. The torso could be sculpted out of Parian marble, but that heart is solid ice. Connoisseurs of ring villainy will find much to love in this match. I, for one, cannot tear my eyes away from Alex for a second. I almost want to say, "But don't write Justin Silver off," but, then, who would I be kidding? Better luck next time, rookie.


4 comments:

  1. Normally, I wait to read your posts on matches I know I'm going to buy, but in this case, I figured there wasn't much you could spoil.

    Alex is simply amazing to me, for all the reasons you outline. He's reached icon status in my collection. I'm glad to hear he's selling better than against Jake and Ethan, but really you buy an Alex Waters match for the cocky heel, not for a suffering jobber.

    And I'd like to add that overall, Rock Hard does such a great job of getting young, hot, talented guys and putting on well-choreographed matches where the moves are executed. The action is beautifully shot. I just really admire the quality of the product. It's always worth it. They don't have the variety of BGE, but I think they're the best at their specific niche.

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  2. In my head I sort of build my own wrestling stable/roster. Waters is a definite member.

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    1. Yes, I agree. Just as a fun exercise I'll list here the wrestlers from the different companies that I would have in my roster if I ran an all-star underground wrestling company (note: this does not include wrestlers who have retired/been MIA for a lengthy time):

      Various companies:
      Austin Cooper
      Jake Jenkins
      Eli Black
      Cal Bennett
      Chet Chastain
      Guido Genatto
      Aryx Quinn
      Viggo
      Lane Hartley (but he has to be IN SHAPE...unlike now)

      RHW:
      Alex Waters
      Dash Decker
      Bruce Ballard

      Thunders Arena:
      Steel
      Marco
      Scrappy
      Bolt
      Eagle
      Freak
      Jersey
      Talon
      Travis

      BGeast:
      Van Skyler
      Kid Karisma

      Also, wrestlers would only be able to wear either posers, bikinis, jockstraps, or wrestling singlets...NO BOXER-BRIEFS and NO SQUARE-CUTS of ANY KIND.

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