Friday, June 20, 2014


When Thunder's Arena released Bodybuilder Battle 65, I was swamped with holiday expenses and a sudden need for four new tires. The ads picturing Viggo and Kid Titan tore me up inside. Physically they define my ideal in wrestling manhood--dirty blonds with marvelously cut physiques. Either would fill a military uniform nicely. It killed me that I couldn't afford to watch the showdown. Then, like many things out of my grasp, it drifted from memory. Earlier this month, some pin money came in from a couple of summer classes I'm teaching, so when the promo for Viggo versus Tak popped up among my email messages, I realized that, hey, this is the hottie with the lumberjack beard I wanted to check out seven months ago.  In short, cash was spent for the older download. Tak will have to wait, though he's on my list.

So here we are. Nobody beats Thunder's Arena for bodybuilders.

The setup of BB65 is fairly routine, however. You have seen it before. Kid Titan, in gear that barely covers his asshole, does pushups in the Arena's screened-in pool area after dark. Viggo (in blue with red trim) dispassionately looks on. In a clear sign of disrespect he walks over Titan's body, pointedly stepping on the guy's shoulders along the way. Clearly, he means to start something, since, seconds later, he repeats the insult, going the other way. The second time succeeds in starting something. Titan hops up on his feet, ready to fight. To give us the bodybuilder half of the equation, the ensuing battle is interrupted twice, pretty much out of nowhere. Titan and Viggo separate and hit their posing marks as if a whistle just blew. Then, again as if on cue, the fight resumes.

It's the imposing figures of Viggo and Titan that give this battle all its punch. Titan leaves most of the twisting and heavy lifting to Viggo. I wouldn't want to suggest that Titan doesn't wrestle, but he wrestles the way I ordinarily would expect a bodybuilder to wrestle, somewhat stiffly and carefully like a 1960s peplum star. That's not altogether a bad thing. He has a beautiful physique, and Viggo does his damnedest to display its graceful arches and bulges for us viewers at home.

For me, Viggo's is the more wrestlable body.  As the more agile, expressive, and aggressive of the two, Viggo was naturally bound to be my favorite. He has a couple of inches over Kid Titan, and that's good too because I favor the taller man, as a rule. The beard defines him as the alpha male and hot daddy (in my mind anyway), and in that department, too, he is amply gifted. More important, he's the one who provokes the confrontation and the one who keeps the action lively with a combination of hustle and verbal abuse.

Round 1 lasts three-quarters of the entire match. Before proceeding to the second round, the two men shake hands in a show of good sportsmanship, having forgot the bit of testiness that set them off in the beginning. Five minutes later, it's all over, with a Herculean body slam that shuts the weaker man down. A clean and dramatic finish, but I'm left wanting more.

Maybe next I'll check out a now beardless Viggo versus Tak, who gained ten pounds of muscle expressly for this, his latest contest. Viggo's debut against Z-Man looks irresistible too. Or maybe I need to see what Dominic does to Kid Titan in Battlespace 58. Or maybe nothing will satisfy me more than a sixty-minute iron man rematch, with the option of a sudden death tiebreaker: Viggo and Titan going full-throttle to a sweaty and gargantuan finale.

1 comment:

  1. I hope to get around to at least one Viggo contest eventually. But I'm a bit peeved that Tak hasn't yet had a major, blow-out win. I think he's deserving, and was even before his additional mass. Considering that other studios have wrestlers with far fewer assets winning over guys with a larger physical differential than he usually faces, I think Tak ought to freak out over someone.



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...