Thursday, December 11, 2014

Mean Green

I wondered what happened to Lance Thrust. Perhaps UCW's latest "lost" video [#383] holds the answer. Lance is one of the handsomer boys to hit the UCW mats. Hairy chested, meatier and more sensible than the average UCW wild child, he looks like a tennis pro or a finance manager at a BMW dealership. 

In his previously released bouts, both highly charged gay-wise, he took on Damien Flawless and CJ Devastation (two other MIAs at the company). In #383, Thrust squares off against crazy Quinn Harper, the most absurdly destructive and creatively degenerate wrestler on the roster. This fight takes gay to a whole new level for UCW.

The setup is fresh. When Lance turns up his nose at wrestling an "old guy," Quinn tries to entice him with a $500 wager. When Lance says he doesn't have $500 to bet, Quinn assures him, "I'm sure there's some other way we can work this out," with a lecherous smirk twisting his lips. Lance gets the benjamins if he wins. If Quinn wins, he gets Lance "for the night to do whatever I want."

A run-in with a loose cannon like the Mighty Quinn could go far in explaining why Lance later hightailed it out of Philly for less turbulent climes. Thrust is in for an adult dose of abuse from Harper, who hauls him up in the air by his adam's apple and balls, plucks off his chest hair, and gropes inside his singlet for a tight fistful of Lance's by-now prominent boner.

I'm not sure why UCW put this match on hold. At the time it was shot, it might have been considered too hot for general release. That's only a guess. But it's a good thing times are changing.

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