Saturday, February 7, 2015

Squared Circle Jerk

The title is a spoiler. Sorry. But it's fair to say the title tells only a fraction of the bulgifying all-nude XXX finish to what is likely going to be my favorite three-way match of all time. Admittedly, the three-way dance is a form I'm not a fan of, but I have seen quite a few, and I can tell you that this one is a nut-buster.

BG East's Ring Releases 2 starts out simply. Chace LaChance versus Ty Alexander. Chace is reluctant to wrestle because there's something in the mirror that's just too sexy. Ty won't go away, so the hairy-chested bodybuilder relents, saying he's got "some time to spare." Chace turns Ty every which way but loose, as the old song goes, but he is in no hurry to pin or submit him, playing with Ty like a pup with a new squeak toy. Kayden Keller shows up, complaining, "I thought you'd be done with this jobber by now." Without being asked to, KK interferes, submitting Ty--pain-full-y--in just seconds.

Chace and Kayden take turns making Ty's life miserable. Then, Kayden starts making Chace's life miserable, kicking a barely conscious Ty to the curb. Then a resuscitated Ty and Chace make Kayden's life miserable. Then Kayden and Ty make Chace's life miserable. Permutations, permutations, permutations! Plot-wise, this match will keep you on your toes for the full hour. It never gets old. Not for me, it didn't.

One reason is that Chace looks the best I've ever seen him. You must keep in mind that I have a pronounced preference for Chace hairy in chest, forearms, and thighs. Viewers who prefer Chace as hair-free (and lump-free) as a Ken doll may be less satisfied with him here. He's also funny--droll in a way either I had never noticed before or he had never been before. But I laughed out loud at two or three lines which he just tossed out there as effortlessly as Steven Wright, only a damn sight easier on the eye.

Kayden displays a drily menacing style I had not noticed before either. He's an efficient heel, who likes to start a fight as bluntly and dirtily as possible, then finish it chop chop. He's not so much evil as business-like. He spends no time growling and striking macho poses like some heels. His methods are less sadistic than labor-saving. He's goal oriented, and he likes a clean ring, clearing it of unconscious opponents or tying them between the top ropes to get them out of the way.

Everybody's good in this, but Ty is particularly remarkable. He's a jobber, but an industrial-strength jobber, bearing unrelenting punishments and then bouncing back for more--and helping out, as needed, in tormenting either of his bigger opponents. He's the glue that holds it all together, an object of desire and a target for destruction, and he's in the middle of every plot turn of this beautifully paced, endlessly fascinating, and back-room sexy brawl. Not to be missed.

1 comment:

  1. I'll take Chase in any way I can get him. He just doesn't look bad , hairy or smooth. Usually I'm hair-neutral, but I have to admit that LaChance is special when he's hirsute.



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