Sucking Wind

Tall wrestlers imprinted on my sexual imagination in my early teens, and the impression lasted close to forty years. Relatively recently, however, my "type" of wrestler has opened up to include, perhaps even to prefer, shorter, stocky pro wrestlers like Milad Akbar, 5'7", 217#, in this Premier Pro Wrestling match from last spring (watch it here). 

Akbar takes on Deron Banks, a darker, doughier version of Akbar and challenger to his belt. The champ is the crowd's favorite. Deron inspires increasing levels of loathing through his dramatic displays of disrespect and derangement. Furthermore, he exhibits sadistic delight in making Akbar quiver and moan, a perversity of character that makes me yearn for his comeuppance at the hands of the upright Akbar, swelling suspense that tastes like blood in the mouth.

This is fine fighting from beginning to end. It starts strong and escalates, a feat that testifies to the two wrestlers' good instincts and ring skills. For six minutes Banks pretty much has his way with Akbar. Then we see Akbar light up and light into Banks for some solid give-and-take action, emphasizing stiff chops and two-counts. The momentum reverses, but reverses gradually. One crowning moment (at the 9:00 mark, the second GIF below) is Deron's merciless 37-second headlock on Milad, which Milad heroically powers out of. A rolling camel clutch all but snuffs out the bad guy in a battle that ends (disappointingly) by disqualification.

Strongly built like a couple of fireplugs, Akbar and Banks take their 16-minute row to the corner ropes and to the hard floor surrounding the ring. They turn out sweat like Ben & Jerry's turns out calories and take their bumps like a couple of Wham-O Super Balls. By the end, the two are "sucking wind" (to cite the ringside commentators) and fighting on instincts alone. Forced to explain what I find so hot about pro wrestling, I might simply direct the inquirer to this match (except for the anticlimactic finish).


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