Dislocation, Dislocation, Dislocation

Being this excited about Derrick Cole's second fight at UCW [#451] can't be good for my health. I've been waiting a month and a half, worried sick that Cole's miscreant behavior in his 2015 debut had landed him on the company's blacklist. Not only has Derrick returned, but UCW's co-honcho Axel wants a piece of him so bad he gamely dangles his championship belt as bait*. If you're not hard already, your dick must be taking a nap.

UCW bylaws require a ref present for all title defenses (a change, I guess, because of the bedlam of the days when the belt was up for grabs 24/7, on or off the mat). Cole immediately translates this (perhaps correctly) as "He's here to protect you from me." Then he threatens the ref with bodily harm if the calls are anything but on the up and up. It takes Axel everything he's got just to look this bad-news heel in the eye. If Axel seems nervous, he has every reason to be. Cole is a back-alley roughneck who likes to end his fights to the tune of rapidly approaching ambulances.

Derrick wastes no time with formalities. He locks up Axel in a standing arm bar in half a second, stomping the mat as he jerks the arm downwards. You can almost hear the shoulder cartilage snap as Axel cries out in pain. Then the villain hammerlocks the arm, still throbbing, with the added touch of interlacing his fingers with the champ's for better control. He forces Axel down on one knee and stretches him up, wringing the spinal column like a wet mop.

Axel muscles loose and flips Derrick to the mat for a two-count the challenger calls "fast." The champ lets him feel the hurt of a wrist-lock of his own up close. Cole noisily protests, though he seems to relish the pain too. It inspires him towards the violence to follow. Back on their feet, the two exchange low BJJ-style kicks. Axel drops Cole on his butt and stretches him back with a chin clutch. A mere three minutes in, it looks like good may triumph over evil--but evil is far from ready to see this contest come to a close, absorbing the pain and refusing to submit, steeling himself to do much much more damage before this 30-minute brawl ends.

In his second contest, Derrick Cole goes one better than his attention-grabbing debut. An accomplished grappler and brawler, he has taken an instant liking to UCW's no-holds-barred spirit, and he means to claw, punch, gouge, and stomp his way to the top of the heap, the sooner the better, the more casualties the better. I can't help but crush on this guy. His mad-dog hotness and propensity for sweating buckets seem ripped right out of my S&M fantasies. He pushes buttons and boundaries with a taste for extremes. Cole has it all, and UCW needs to pay up on its liability insurance if it intends to cut this shark loose on other names on the roster.



* Perhaps it's not so simple as that. Axel claims that Cole's intended opponent no-showed and that he, Axel, is the only wrestler on site who can fulfill the company's contractual obligation to Cole. That's his story, anyway.