Monday, February 29, 2016

Pain Palace




Flash LaCash vs Zach Reno, Ringwars 25 (BG East)

"Y' wanna dance?" Flash asks, following an awkward but mercifully brief interchange in which the wrestlers try out their smack talk on each other. Zach makes a WTF face and replies, "I don't wanna d--  Owww, muthafuckah!" He's cut off by Flash's boot slamming his heart. LaCash backs the woolly-headed babyface into the corner ropes for more abuse, but Reno springs back with a punch to the gut and a trio of jabs to Flash's face, which he cinches with a tight side headlock. Flash doesn't like the headlock, so he busts loose, launching a lengthy session of give and take, in which the two lob wrestling holds at each other like a couple of tennis pros.

It takes five minutes, but Flash gradually gains unobstructed control of Reno, showering the handsome grappler with torments, each one potentially more crippling than the last, targeting Zach's arm, his hair, his spinal column, his fingers, his balls, pretty much the whole 5'8" 160 pounds, overlooking no part of it as far as I can tell. If, as I believe, LaCash won't be satisfied till he's widely recognized as BGE's baddest, meanest, nastiest villain, the wreckage of this hairy-chested stud, inch by inch, will make a more than adequate calling card.

The online catalog description is usefully thorough on this matter:
Flash's adrenaline shoots through the roof as he begins nailing Reno with power moves from gutbusters and running powerslams to powerbombs and suplexes. And if the ball claws weren't bad enough, Flash won't stop with the trash talk, proclaiming that if he is the King of Pain Palace, then he'll make Zach his Queen.
Just past the match's midpoint, Zach borrows a page from Jonny Firestorm's playbook. Battered and winded, he crawls on hands and knees to Flash's boots, the very picture of abject defeat. He reaches for the heel's legs as if to steady himself. LaCash is so pleased with this picture of total submission that he lets down his guard, and Zach whips his forearm up between Flash's thighs, flattening the villain's balls. LaCash teeters and collapses, but then, powered by sheer malevolence, he springs back unexpectedly, redoubling his efforts at making Reno the ground zero of his fury and corrupt ambition.

Zach and Flash have been two of my favorite additions to the BGE roster these last three years. In some respects, they resemble each other--they could be brothers, though I'm thinking more Cain and Abel or Romulus and Remus than Wally and Beaver. Zach makes a great good guy--ruggedly handsome, tightlipped, a man of action with a strong sense of justice. Conversely, Flash is shaping up as a terrific bad-ass, ambitious, callous, and cruel, his face and body as sharp as a hundred hatchets. Both are ready to wear themselves down to a nub for the sake of a good fight. How irresistible is that?

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