Paul Perris vs Roman Stone, Kick-Ass Bodybuilder Feud (Can-Am)
Undoubtedly one of the videos I would take with me on a year-long voyage to Mars, Kick-Ass Bodybuilder Feud (the first) stands out not only for the hotness of its two adversaries but also for its incorporation of both ring wrestling and oil pit wrestling, two distinct styles of the sport I have made my lifelong fetish. The Polish émigré cousins are so exquisitely matched in physique and experience that the contest hangs on their personalities: Paul being the hothead, Roman being the clutch performer with ice water in his veins. Perris handily assumes control in the squared circle with his high kicks and dramatic hair, but Stone takes over in the pit where he concentrates on showing off and destroying Paul's physique. I have owned the three Perris-Stone videos since the VHS days, since their first issue, when Roman was named Jaime Cutler (or in the catalog description Jamie). While lacking the credibility of real pro wrestlers and freestyle wrestlers, Perris and Stone nevertheless give good body contact, both devotees of the limber combat stylings of Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Rick Rude vs Jerry Allen, World Class Championship Wrestling (WCCA)
This match took place thirty years ago, in February of 1986, right as WCCW divorced NWA, became WCCA*, and proclaimed Ravishing Rick its first heavyweight champion. While not the best advertisement for either Rude's or Allen's wrestling skills (television broadcasts teased with just enough wrestling to lure audiences to the live shows), it does have the advantage of featuring the wrestlers at their physical best, hairy chests included. (The following year when Rude debuted at WWF, later WWE, he once again faced Allen, both of them then as depilated and bronzed as their new boss.) Rude is the epitome of pre-Attitude Era heelness, making the reveal of his magnificent torso as dazzling as possible, falsely accusing Allen of pulling his hair, hiding behind his doting manager Percy Pringle, and avoiding a fair and honest fight as much as possible. He is detestable and devoid of any trait, however miniscule, which might conceivably win over the crowd. Rude was often poised against dumpling-shaped jobbers or old-guard veterans. It's good to see him here against a man as strong and able as he.
Chace LaChance vs Kayden Keller vs Ty Alexander, Ring Releases 2: Triple Release (BG East)
This one would be a must-see for Chace's climactic cum shot alone. Ordinarily not a fan of X vs Y vs Z matches, I do nevertheless admire this video for pushing buttons and boundaries (reread the previous sentence). Originally slated as singles competition between LaChance and Alexander, the match switches course with Keller's arrival at ringside. Kayden thinks Chace is taking too long to kick Ty's butt. He gives the muscle god some pointers on playing the heel, and the two double up against the cherub-faced babyface and, ultimately, turn against each other too. The turns and reversals, apparently inspired by bedroom farce, bristle with comedy. The catalog description's oddly familiar prose all but predicted this release's double victory at the 2015 readers' poll awards (best liplock and sexiest match):
This hour-long guaranteed instant classic doesn't miss a single permutation, and the surprises keep coming. The last half will have you rubbing your eyes in disbelief (or rubbing SOMETHING): a buck-naked, tied-up, over-the-top choke-off, jerk-off, suck-off finisher with a closing liplock that's for the record books! (We kid you not.)Chace is gorgeous and surprisingly droll, a blank slate for my fantasies. Kayden is the thinking man's dungeon master. And Ty, the fickle one, opportunistically plays sidekick to either one against the other.
* The WCCA's weekly TV program continued to be called World Class Championship Wrestling.