E vs Godderz

Robbie E vs Jessie Godderz, Slammiversary 2015 (TNA)

Former partners have some shit to settle. The fight gets off to a rousing start outside the ring. As the commentator says, these two exes know each other better than anyone else does. They know the weak spots. They know what hurts. They feel the satisfaction of the other guy's agony more deeply than competitors ordinarily do. If anything parallels the sex/relationship narrative I impose on pro wrestling as a gay fan, it is a grudge match between two halves of a broken tag team.

Once he gets the upper hand, Godderz knows how to rub it in. He relishes his dominance. It gets him hard. He wants to pound Robbie E through the canvas ring floor to the cold concrete below. E punches back, and as the match's midpoint nears, the wrestlers, equal in every respect, are in gridlock, their muscle ground in so deep into the other man's muscle they can barely move. Frustration builds as Jessie realizes that even after he's given his best, Robbie E has yet to be utterly demolished.

A sweaty, spine-numbing bearhug fails to do the trick for Godderz, and it is at this point that Robbie dramatically changes the course of the match. But can Robbie succeed where Jessie failed? I leave that for you to see for yourself. I think all broken relationships should end in a fight--or some other kind of physical contest where there is a clear winner and a clear loser. It makes the split cleaner, more satisfying, believe it or not, more respectful too. Perhaps immediately after the breakup is too soon, but two or three years later the exes need to find a place to settle the old score once and for all. (Then again, what kind of idiot takes relationship advice from a blogger?)