Johnny the Bull vs Race Steele, ca. 2002 (Heartland Wrestling Association)
For the second time in fifty days, simply the way a wrestler has entered the ring has stoked my erotic fantasies. In January, it was Ryan (Jesse) Sorensen sliding between the ropes. This time it's Peterbilt Johnny the Bull (later Johnny Stamboli) rolling in under the ropes and doffing his shades to fight Race Steele. It doesn't hurt either that he follows up a collar and elbow with a grinding side headlock and an Irish whip. The video is too dark, but with Johnny's and Race's shoulders gleaming in the lights, maybe there's just enough detail to shape my dreams tonight.
For some folks it's the ocean, for others it's a sunset, for yet others it's the vast expanse of stars on a cloudless night. For me it's a couple of squarely built 250-pounders body-slamming each other onto canvas-covered plywood. You keep your Sistine Chapel. I'll take Steele pounding pellet-size rabbit shits out of his future tag team partner against the corner ropes. You want sublimity? Let me show you Race's O-face as he squats over Johnny, wrenching his neck in a chinlock which just may be turning slowly into an illegal choke.
In the end, though, Johnny gets his man. It takes six minutes. Six minutes is not much, but I guess it all depends on what you pack into six minutes.