Wednesday, April 27, 2016

"Bring It On"? "Bring It On"? You Stupid Little Fuck!

It looks like it's BGE Week at Ringside at Skull Island and neverland. I copped some photos of the just-released Demolition 19 from The Arena@BGEAST, and since I'm presently buried under a ton of freshmen research essays the week before finals, I am taking the lazy way out and quote word for word from the product descriptions in the online catalog. Anyway, I couldn't put it any better myself.

Chace LaChance vs Jayden Mayne, Demolition 19 (BG East)
Ever fantasize about having a personal trainer as fit and sexy as Chace LaChance? It may not be all you would like it to be. For one thing, only one person gets Chace's undivided, expert attention, and that person is Chace, 24/7/365. You step into this guy's shadow at the gym and he shoots you the evil eye. You use a piece of equipment he wants to use, and he treats you like dirt. Our pal Jayden Mayne had a bad run-in with this dude a few weeks back. Here Jayden was doing his regular routine, minding his business, and up walks Chace, pecs and abs rolling like an approaching thunderhead.

Jayden didn't do a thing, and all of a sudden this muscled lug starts disrespecting the kid's physique, which is not half bad, in our opinion. Chace acts like the BG East workout room is his personal and exclusive gym or something! He even says so, looming over Jayden, trying to intimidate the guy. Jayden plays it all cool and stuff, but Chace won't stop riding his butt, telling Mayne he ought to be using the girls' equipment instead. So Jayden just stands there, staring at LaChance as the big guy buffs his muscles all nice and pretty.

Chace orders him to back off. Jayden says, "Let's take this shit upstairs," or roughly words to that effect, meaning up to the wrestling ring over the workout room. "I'm gonna destroy that little kid," Chace mutters, taking a few last-minute tugs at the lats machine before following Jayden to the wrestling ring. Jayden cannot wait to mix it up with this douche-bag. He sucker-punches Chace in the midsection, and Mister Beautiful folds up like an aluminum beach chair. Jayden follows up with some blows to the back, and Chace is groaning and wobbling back and forth like a man twice his age.

Once back up on his feet and steady, Chace takes charge, though, sneaking up on Jayden from behind and cranking up a full nelson. That's a serious hold, if you didn't already know that, but then he just tosses the kid to the mat like it's not even worth his time to wrestle him. "I feel much better when I look at myself than when I look at you," he crows, popping his biceps in front of the mirror again. He offers Jayden a free shot at putting the full-nelson hold on him this time. Jayden clamps in tight, and Chace puts up a bigger struggle than he probably expected to, but he escapes and reverses.

He gives Mayne a good roughing up: clutches, yanking him up by his short haircut, over-the-knee back-busters, till Jayden finally gives, not once, not twice, but, at Chace's insistence, three times. The big guy follows up with a 90-second full nelson, clearly bent on demolishing the kid's back and shoulders. Body scissors follow, as do arm bars, illegal use of the ropes, crab holds, and bear hugs. It's almost impossible to not get an erection under these circumstances. We feel bad for Jayden, but, damn! this stuff is h-o-t!

Lon Dumont vs Nicholas Rush, Demolition 19 (BG East)
Lon Dumont rubs some people the wrong way. We get it. Really, we do. Even Nicholas Rush, who paired with Lon in Tag Team Torture 15, can't get along with the guy. Nicholas did nothing but try to please Lon, putting up with the man's narcissistic mood swings, doing everything in his power to impress and please the prickly bad-ass. Recently, he purchased new ring attire, thinking Lon would be impressed. It's a satiny black entrance robe lined with what appears to be the hide of a purple bathroom rug. Ugly as fuck. It looks like the gear that trampoline wrestlers threw together for themselves in the 1990s.

But Lon can't just bite his tongue and tell the guy he looks fantastic in it, like a real partner would. Instead, he says stuff like "I hate to be the one to break this to you, but it ain't Halloween." Then he informs Nicholas he is "not up to snuff " as a tag-team partner, despite the duo's good showing against Jake Jenkins and Austin Cooper. Truth be told, Lon never did think Nicholas was good enough to be his wingman. Most guys would just stop returning phone calls, but leave it to Lon to insist on proving his point by importuning The Boss for a special singles contest to beat the shit out of his soon-to-be ex-partner.

He pretends he's giving Nicholas one last chance to prove himself as a wrestler, but it's a breakup match, gangland execution style. Like most of Lon's matches it starts out with the pretense of being clean. The two clasp hands and butt chests in a grunting test of strength. Tall and lanky Nicholas packs more power than anybody expected, and Lon nearly hemorrhages trying to shove him back to the corner ropes. A second time. Similar results.

Then all of a sudden Nicholas is pressing Lon down to one knee. Lon resorts to yanking the guy down to the mat by his hair, a cheap trick that the talky heel shrugs off as strategic "thinking." But when Nicholas naively copycats Lon's strategy, all hell breaks loose.

A series of punches, clotheslines, and slams are designed to punish Nicholas for making Lon look bad ... on camera, no less. In his rage, Lon wants to eliminate the rookie not just as a tag partner but from BG East entirely. We see Lon at his villainous best here, truly savoring the small offensives that put Nicholas through hell, such as using his wristband to sandpaper his opponent's already bruised and battered ribs. Attention to detail has always been a Dumont hallmark and "Ol' Lonnie D" revels in dastardly detail here.

The thing is, as brutal as Lon is, Nicholas takes everything Lon dishes up and keeps coming back, seemingly stronger than before. Two-thirds of the way through the match, Nicholas turns it all around. He becomes the hunter and Lon the prey, trapping the bigmouth bad-boy against the turnbuckle and walloping him good and hard. It is an a-maz-ing turnaround, and of course nobody's more shocked - or more indignant - than our Lon Dumont.

But there are bonafide turnabouts, and then there are hope spots, soon squashed by a capable heel if luck is on his side. But is luck on Dumont's side? Or on young Nicholas Rush's side? Either way, the finisher, a face-to-face and chest-to-chest choke-out, will leave you with plenty to think about and contemplate after the match is over.

Guido Genatto vs Ty Alexander, Demolition 19 (BG East)
Whom exactly did Ty Alexander piss off so badly that he wound up in the squared circle face to face with "Dirty Daddy" Guido Genatto? I mean, really. Did he shoot somebody's dog? Did he steal somebody's boyfriend? Did he sell defense secrets to an enemy state? Did he badly cross The Boss? I mean, just the sight of Ty's smooth, boylike physique in valentine pink trunks facing off against big, nasty, and dangerous Guido is like seeing a squirrel in a pit match against a goddamn grizzly. Ty puts on his best fight face for the confrontation, but a good fight face will not cut it against muscle and volatility like Genatto's.
"Bring it on, man," Ty says, adorably unconvincing as his burly opponent approaches the ring. "'Bring it on, man'?" Guido repeats. "Did you just call me 'man'?" He chuckles dismissively and climbs through the ropes. "What did you call me? You call me 'man'?" Ty doesn't back off but dares to get right in his face, saying, "Yeah, I said 'Bring it on.'"
Posthaste Guido lands a fist the size of a bowling ball on Ty's perfect jawline. "'Bring it on'? 'Bring it on'? You stupid little fuck!" Ty feels himself being tossed to the center of the ring, his arm wedged between two massive hairy thighs and locked against Guido's bulging crotch. A second later, Guido's boot is smashing the kid's one free hand.
"I'm gonna give you a good fuckin' look at your absolute total fuckin' destruction!" Past history tells us that this is no exaggeration. If BG East didn't already have a Demolition series, Guido Genatto's arrival at the company over two years ago would have made its invention necessary. Guido has chewed up pretty boys like Kip Sorell, Jake Jenkins, and Kirk Donahue and spit them out. Muscle brutes like Flash LaCash and Dolph Danner have fared only marginally better. Nobody exudes menace, testosterone, or domination like Guido.
Ty is best known as the current king of liplocks in BGE's eroto-wrestling videos. To his credit, he doesn't seem as out of place in this ring as we might have expected. He's ring savvy. He suffers beautifully (and tirelessly) under Guido's merciless abuses.
Ty has been caught in the grip of other big brutes, most recently veteran Shane McCall and new big boy Beauxregard. His expressive face registers even slight variations in the degrees of his suffering. He is a perfect victim, and an appreciative one. Only the hard bulge pressing front and center in his pink trunks betrays his secret enjoyment of his torments.
Like the best bullies, Guido is a master of the small gestures and taunts that add sensuality to his savage acts. The positioning of Ty's head at his crotch early on in the match, for instance, is greeted by a slight upward thrust of the hips. "Oh yeah, you like those red trunks, huh?" Guido vulgarly barks out. Looking down at his own bulge he adds, "My fuckin' hot sausage looks good in these red trunks." He's fully aware of the game he's playing, like a true master of his craft: "I hope it feels as good for you as it does for me."
Next he chicken-wings Ty's arm, with the added touch of holding it with one arm while the other arm roughly shoves the victim's face in the opposite direction. Later, trapping Ty in a lotus lock, Guido casually props himself up on his elbows, looking down at the twitching body with an expression of grim satisfaction, baring his teeth for an added touch of intimidation. Surfboard locks, pendulum backbreakers, STFs, chinlocks, chokes, and ball-twisting, Guido has a full arsenal of hurts as he plays Ty like bagpipes and puts that sexy lean jobber bod on full display for our total delectation. Oh and, yeah, those red trunks are well worth remembering, too. A sexy and controversial match with glorious contrasts!

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