Wednesday, May 4, 2016

All the Bad Boys Want a Piece of Biff

Biff Farrell vs Brice Moore and Dolph Danner, Three-way Thrash 3 (BG East)

I remember there was a kid all the bad boys wanted to fight after school. He was quiet but strong, muscles stretching the seams of the polo shirts he wore almost every day. Usually he'd successfully shrug off the challenges, or some sweaty teacher in a skinny tie would tell everybody to pipe down. Once in the showers after P.E., a fat dummy snapped a towel at this kid's ass (like milky bowling balls, those cheeks), and the kid flew into the fatso, buck naked, fists flying, slamming his somewhat heavier tormentor into the lockers before Coach stepped in to break it up. That image is tattooed on my memory to this day.

Now, so is the main event of Three-way Thrash 3. If clean-cut healthy living needed a poster boy, it would be Biff Farrell. The 5'7", 190# jock looks like he stepped right out of a 1950s family sitcom. The setup here is that Biff is scheduled to wrestle Brice Moore, 5'10", 170#, an opponent roughly resembling Biff in build. Brice brings tattooed blondy Dolph Danner 6', 200#, with him, presumably for moral support at ringside, but the video's title promises more, and we get it with no wait at all. Brice blindsides Biff, but he hardly gets a second of satisfaction from it because Farrell bounces back, smashing Moore to the mat in a thrilling moment of I'm-not-taking-this-shit comeuppance. Annoyed that good sportsmanship might actually triumph over dishonesty, Dolph springs into the ring to help. Happily, Biff is up to the challenge of a two-against-one fight. He handily dusts off the bad boys one after the other until the two wise up and start combining their efforts as a team. Biff can handle 170 pounds. He can even handle 200 pounds. But 370 pounds is too much for the 190 pounder to defeat. But he sure as hell puts up one magnificent struggle against two heels looking for trouble ... and find it packed into bright coquelicot trunks--making this match a whole lot more than your run-of-the-mill three-way tango!


  1. Has Biff won any matches? I hope so!

    1. He has won one that I know of: Ripped Rookies 2.

    2. The images are really misleading, then, because to go by them, he was totally dominated. I hope he's not being set up to be a career jobber. He looks too delicious to be relegated to that fate. As per your review, he looks impressive in a 1x2 situation.

    3. I could be wrong about the outcome of Ripped Rookies 2. Often, at some point my imagination takes over and strays (sometimes far afield) from the actual narrative.



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