Thursday, September 15, 2016

Awkward









Marco vs Sparrow, No Holds Barred 72 (Thunder's Arena)

In the first seconds of NHB 72, Sparrow already has Marco belly down on the mat. He's mounting Marco, crotch sliding up and down Marco's stacked torso and bubble butt.

Sparrow: Oh yeah ... fucking great.
Marco: I don't know how I feel about this.
Sparrow: You don't like it?
Marco: Uhhhh. It's a little different.
Sparrow: Oh God I'm starting to like it.
Marco: Interesting.
Sparrow: Ohhh, I wanna do it again.
Marco: Again?
Sparrow: Yeah!
Marco: Uh, what's that position called?
Sparrow: [mumbles something I can't understand] You're so fuckin' hot.
Marco: I'm hot? Thank you.
Sparrow: Uh uh uh uh uh ohhh. You gonna turn all the way over for me? Uh uh uh.
Marco: Are you making these noises or did they add this into the video?
Sparrow: You gotta make me work so damn hard.
Marco: [suddenly pulling away] Oh no, I'm sorry. I gotta lay down and make it easy for you.
[Sparrow pulls Marco back in to him.]
Sparrow: C'mon and give it to me.

A few moments later, Sparrow wonders aloud whether what they're doing is actually wrestling. Marco says no, it's more like cuddling, and his face appears to be processing that information even as the words fall from his lips. Sparrow asks whether they should wrestle or keep doing what they're doing. Marco says, "Hmm. Let me think about that."

Sparrow and Marco  transition to a bear hug, Marco's arms wrapped around Sparrow, squeezing, chest to chest, crotch to crotch, you get the picture. Marco remarks on how sweaty his opponent is. Sparrow replies, "You're making me sweaty." All at once Marco's eyes open wide, gazing into a distance beyond the walls of the wrestling den, as if he's suddenly imagining himself entering his personal safe place. "Can we just wrestle so we can kill this awkwardness?" he asks the overheated Sparrow.

I like to think the guys are empathizing with their gay fans here, sharing a joke with guys like me, but I honestly can't tell. Sometimes it felt a lot more like I was being made fun of. Marco and Sparrow play the scene at a perfect balance, not really stepping over the line except for one fleeting reference to a sexually abusive wrestling coach that's unfortunately played up as a joke. Ew. Not funny. (Ah, the privilege of not being one of those shy, sensitive kids who were sexually abused and then forced to bear the shame of it as if they had "asked for it"!)

Not meaning to be too thin-skinned. Or be a downer. Still ...

Okay, I can take a joke. Really. I get it, sort of. But like Marco I wish they would really wrestle, and like Sparrow I want the scene to be volcanically hot. In my mind, there's no contradiction, but playing a scene up like a French farce tends to decrease the aggressiveness that makes wrestling my passion. The world disagrees with me, but I believe that, with rare exceptions, comedy and wrestling do not mix. About midway through, Marco schoolboy-pins Sparrow, super hot, joke or no joke, and the tone of the match veers slightly more to the brooding vigor that I love in wrestling (and in Marco), all the way to a grab-the-lube knockout at the end. Eventually, I got what I wanted out  of NHB 72, but, I'll tell you, it was kinda James Franco awkward up to that point.


2 comments:

  1. I actually had a number of comments about this, but I couldn't figure out what to say. I settled on two.

    I don't know if comedy and wrestling mix, but most underground guys aren't funny enough to pull it off. Their buddies might tell them they're hilarious, but that's a lot different than actual comedy. I think most times these guys try to be funny, it comes off as corny and embarrassing.

    And this match looks and sounds like exactly why I don't buy or review much from Marco. His style and my tastes just don't click.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love Marco, and this was a hot match.

    ReplyDelete

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