Tuesday, February 28, 2017


Masanobu Fuchi vs Tsuyoshi Kikuchi, 28 February 1993 (All Japan Pro Wrestling)

Thank you to nerdkisser on Tumblr for pointing me to this wonderfully rough and reckless match from (exactly) 24 years ago. The way I see it Fuchi (39, 6', 231#, in black trunks) gives his opponent Kikuchi (28, 5'10", 218#, in rising sun tights) the first two or three minutes of the match to dazzle the crowd before striking back with enough ferocity to make the young man burst into tears. And here Kikuchi was having so much fun tossing the veteran around the ring. Turns out Fuchi has a few suplexes of his own, all saved up for the match's final minutes when he treats the challenger like his personal crash-test dummy. Long story short: Don't mess with Masa.

Monday, February 27, 2017

Signature Moves

Jerry Lynn vs Lightning Kid, GWF Major League Wrestling, 27 December 1991 (Global Wrestling Federation)

I was never a big fan, but I always got a kick out of the Lightning Kid (19, 6'2", 201#), more for his scenarios than for anything else. Lightning was a comic heel character who fomented situations prompting more seasoned wrestlers to give him a good spanking. I'm not saying he couldn't get the job done, but he had to rely on crooked and unscientific means to do so.

He's the defending champion in this superb two-out-of-three-fall title match against Jerry Lynn (28, 5'10", 202#). The match, at around the 33-minute mark on the video linked above, has the added stipulation that the falls must result from the winner's trademark finisher (the Lightning Strike, Lightning's take on the piledriver, or Lynn's sleeper hold). The fight goes for the full three falls.  The wily champion takes advantage of his opponent's integrity, at one point tricking him into assuming the referee position and then kicking him in the ribs.

Lynn snuffs Lightning out for a thrilling first fall, but the gangly heel does not go down easily. Lightning wins the second fall, putting the pressure on both wrestlers for the third and final fall. From start to finish, the match is a best of its kind, with GIF-worthy moments I do not have room for here. The final five minutes are the most intense, with Lynn, at last pushed to his limits, going into berserker mode and delivering a furious corner clobbering, seen in the last GIF above. Seconds later, Lynn accidently cold-cocks the ref, and, as any wrestling fan knows, a knocked-out ref paves the way for all kinds of new hell to break loose.

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Free for All

Coleman Free vs Austin Tyler, Match 518 (UCW)

There was no way I was going to miss this match, and I pity any underground wrestling fan who does. Tyler is one of five UCW wrestlers rotating for the position of my personal all-time favorite. Whichever one of the five I am watching at any given time becomes my top pick--until, that is, I see one of the other four. I am fickle by nature, but my fickleness in this case is due to all five wrestlers being topnotch athletes and performers. Tyler is the latest addition to the group and, of the five, the one with the most pounce-worthy body. If I am being honest, I have to say watching him drives me a little bit crazy.

Free makes a fine debut here, putting in his bid to be UCW's new longhair wild man, jumping into the company on all fours--looks, talent, pugnacity (biting, gouging, kicking), and attitude. It's always fun when a newcomer takes to the company's ethos like he was born expressly for this kind of crazy. Few do, but those like Coleman make a lasting impression. UCW has been deservedly fortunate these past couple of years in pulling in knock-em-dead attackers who like playing hard.  As I expected, Tyler keeps Free on his toes, and, somewhat more surprising, Free returns the favor. The match begins with an exchange of holds, with neither keen on submitting. The guys exhibit some close, tight working of each other's body, which is something I prefer over the more gymnastic approach to wrestling.

As tough and hairy as this match eventually gets--two-thirds of the way through, it fires up the energy and pugnacity level to all-out war--it's essentially a "friendly," that is sportsmanlike, contest, making allowances for the freewheeling way sportsmanlike can be defined at UCW. Hands are shaken before the match begins, friendly words are exchanged. In the end, the victor graciously acknowledges the loser's contributions to making this battle as strong as it is. Until then, though, there are moments I'm convinced these two are out to kill each other.  Match 518 comes close to hitting the heights of Axel vs Chase Michaels (Match 516) earlier this month, edged out of the Number 1 spot only by my fever for oil wrestling. Problem easily solved, though: slick Austin and Coleman up for a rematch!

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Housebreaking Your Punk

Jason Kincaid vs Colby Corino, Premier of Honor, Premier Wrestling Federation

Housebreaking your new wrestling punk takes more than newspapers and doggie treats. Your punk is a pedigree, so he will more than likely be two hands full until properly trained. As soon as you step in the ring with him, he's going to strut around, acting like he owns the place. That's natural. All punks think they're hot stuff at first. Let him explore, but eventually you will have to show him who's the boss. It's not unusual for your new punk to try and test his limits with you, and that's perfectly normal. This is also your opportunity to get acquainted with his patterns of behavior, attentively waiting for that moment he steps over the line. But as soon as he crosses that line, make sure you're right there and on top of the situation, and tear the little bastard a brand new asshole. 

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Torres vs McGill

Enrique Torres vs Pat McGill, ca. 1950  (Long Beach Wrestling)

A native Californian, Enrique Torres wrestled the best of his day: Gorgeous George and Lou Thesz, both on multiple occasions. Here (in the darker trunks) he faces Oklahoman Pat McGill, who does all the expressive groaning in this match, loud enough to be picked up on the microphone over all the crowd noise. It's all pretty intense and wonderful. Enrique has only a couple of pounds on Pat, so the two are well matched, in a fight that features plenty of old-school cranking, slamming, grinding. and wrenching.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017


I don't recall ever saying it, but if I ever did say collegiate wrestling lacks drama, keep in mind I know jack shit about what I'm talking about half the time. You need no further proof than these GIFs taken from this highlights reel from Sunday's meet, in which South Dakota State (in blue) whupped North Dakota State's green and yellow ass, by a slim but significant margin.

And if I ever slurred the wrestling singlet, whose circumfluent adhesion to the male form is in many ways sexier and more beautiful than nakedness even, I spoke purely out of ignorance.

Often, college and folk-style wrestling capture the exact rhythms I seek in a good fight, the vigorous lockup, the gradual wearing down of the opponent, laborious surges of resistance and reversal, with a sudden, immobilizing finish. I regret that I don't know more about the sport. It's beautiful and dignified and hot.

Monday, February 20, 2017


Scott Colton vs Ronny Metro, PPW Taping 124, 30 December 2016 (Premier Pro Wrestling)

This is the PPW Challenge Pro Cup Tournament final match, the one for the championship,  with the top two competitors facing off in the ring. I wouldn't call this match perfect--too choreographed, too clowny at times--but it has an element of perfection. I've written before about how much I like matches between well matched but also strongly contrasting character types. (Truth be told, I also like matches between two guys you can barely tell apart. It's the anemic in-between I'm less fond of.)

Colton, nicknamed "The Human Video Game," is the cute boy next door in a singlet. The guy's straight-edge through and through, with a touch of the Disney Channel about him, yet a tough fighter in the ring. Metro, ex PPW heavyweight champion, is everything Colton's not. He's a muscle lout in makeup and a Catholic girl's school uniform. Metro is big and nasty, prone to rage, sneak attacks, and sadism. Colton is technical to the bone.

Colton's unassuming manliness versus Metro's campy genderfuck touches on my basic inner conflict, the one played out in most of my wrestling fantasies, being my attraction to the two incompatible opposites of old-school butch masculinity and male sensitivity and passivity. The attraction is complicated here (the way I like attraction to be) by Colton's youthful male prettiness and Metro's poorly disguised virility.


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